The Entire Court Hears My Thoughts, and the Empress Forces Me to Play the Rat Race

Xiao Han transmigrates into the body of the wastrel heir of the Duke of Zhenguo’s household. His System arrives early, and all he wants is to lie flat, slack off, and enjoy the life of a wealthy idler.

Who knew that the Empress and the entire court would hear every thought in his head!

[Dad broke his leg. I’ll slack off for him!]

[Court is so boring… I really want to visit a brothel!]

[But, well… heh heh, if you say the Empress plans to give me her first night at the third watch, I’ll absolutely lie flat and wait by the first watch! This incredible fortune is thrilling just to think about…]

“Xiao Han! Get out here!”

[Holy crap! The boss is calling on me?!]

“The Duke of Rong is guilty of countless crimes, yet the late emperor’s death-exemption medallion protects him. My ministers, do you have a solution?”

“Steal it! Do you even have to ask?”

“Good! I grant you permission to sneak into the Duke of Rong’s residence tonight and steal the medallion!”

[I was just saying that, Your Majesty!]

That night, Xiao Han crouched inside a secret compartment.

[I stole the medallion and even stumbled onto the Duke of Rong’s huge secret with his sister-in-law!]

“Minister Xiao has rendered a great service! Promote him!”

[Holy crap! I don’t want a job!]

“Your hours at court are flexible!”

[That’s amazing?!]

He treated the Empress’s injuries and saw every inch of her.

[Boss! I didn’t do it on purpose!]

When an epidemic broke out, his private thought about treating a well’s water with medicine prompted the Empress to issue an order on the spot.

When an enemy kingdom sought a marriage alliance, he imagined fighting back with the corpses of plague victims, and the Empress readily approved.

Then one night, the System suddenly displayed a notification: [Ding! The Empress’s favorability toward the Host has reached 100%. Spousal Bond Mode activated!]

Looking at the smiling Empress on the imperial bed, the Fangtian Sword clattered from Xiao Han’s hand.

[Wait! How did I end up eating my own gossip and becoming the imperial consort?!]