Late Tang: Can't I, Emperor Xizong, Just Take It Easy?!

I woke up to find myself transmigrated into Li Xuan, Emperor Xizong of Tang.

Historically, this unlucky kid ascended the throne at twelve. He loved to play, and was great at goose fighting and polo, but had no idea how to be an emperor. In the end, Huang Chao drove him out of Chang’an, and he died miserably at just twenty-seven.

But after looking into the Li family genealogy, it suddenly hit me: Grandpa Emperor Yizong loved having fun and spending money, and lived to forty-one. Dad Emperor Xizong... Oh, that’s me. But looking further back, those who tried to get things back on track, like my cousin Emperor Zhaozong, worked hard to strengthen the government and curb the warlords, only to be killed by eunuchs at thirty-eight.

It seems the harder an emperor of the Tang dynasty tries, the sooner he dies!

Huang Chao is coming? What do I care? I escaped in history anyway. The eunuch Tian Lingzi is grabbing power? Let him. He handles the affairs while I enjoy myself, so we both win! The warlords are carving up the realm? Let them. I don’t have to fight in their battles.

Work hard to restore the government? Not a chance! My life motto is: kick back! Kick back until I die!

A marriage alliance to consolidate power? Sure! If anyone has a good daughter, I’ll marry her! As long as she’s pretty, that’s all that matters. The betrothal gifts... I’m broke, so it’s not unreasonable to ask for two hundred strings of cash, is it?

State affairs? Let my “father,” Tian Lingzi, and the chancellors argue over them. I’m busy putting together the imperial polo team!

Before I knew it, the sixth year of Zhonghe had arrived. Looking at Chang’an, still alive with song and dance, I held my newly favored consort close and sighed: Tsk, tsk. I knew it. As long as the emperor doesn’t mess things up, the Tang dynasty won’t fall anytime soon!