She Is a Miracle Cure

I am the number one fugitive spiritual herb in the Immortal Realm, and now the entire cultivation world is hunting me down. The reason is simple: eat me, and you can ascend on the spot.

To avoid being caught and tossed into a pot, I decisively faked an accident with the most handsome monk in the entire cultivation world. This Buddhist heir seems aloof and ascetic on the surface, but in reality he hides his private stash of money even better than I do, and chants physical exorcism spells more smoothly than sutras.

I thought I'd latched onto the right sugar daddy, but after following him back to the holy land of the Buddhist kingdom, I discovered that its pervasive holy light gives me allergies and its rules are enough to make my head spin. Even more absurdly, I somehow became the biggest bug in the Buddhist kingdom's System, making the karmic pool crash every day.

Now the entire cultivation world knows that whoever gets the spiritual herb gains the Heavenly Dao. But only the monk who pawns his kasaya while chanting "Amitabha" knows that my tears can burn through the eighteen levels of hell, and my smile can make the Red Lotus Karmic Fire become a fan club.

When the gods and buddhas of the heavens demand that I sacrifice myself to save all living beings, my monk finally drops the act. "Anyone who dares lay a hand on my person will meet the Buddha early."

Wait... What happened to being free of worldly desires? Holy monk, aren't you laying it on a bit thick with the flattery?