On the Seventh Night of the Seventh Month at the Palace of Eternal Life, I Borrow Another Ten Thousand Years from Heaven

My name is Shen Yan, and I’m the most laid-back squatter in the cultivation world.

Ten thousand years ago, my wife and her lover “tore my heart out.” My remnant soul drifted to the Hall of Eternal Life, where a white-haired old immortal, afraid I’d seek revenge, gave me an immortality cheat and a chattering little sparrow. He even jotted my enemies’ names down in a Death Note.

From then on, I switched to retirement mode: while others built their foundations, I flew kites; while others ascended to immortality, I fed sparrows.

But as I kept feeding it, the sparrow took human form, flapped her wings, and brought the marriage registry right to my doorstep. “Mr. Shen, did you bring your household registration booklet?”

That was when I realized my little sidekick from back then was now two heads taller than me, and beautiful enough to outshine ten Holy Maidens.

Fine, we’ll get married first, then I’ll take her to all the most popular sightseeing spots across the Six Realms.

Unfortunately, Heaven’s Will wouldn’t let me lie flat. The remnants of an old age, a corrupted Heaven’s Will, and an apocalyptic keyboard warrior came knocking one after another.

I wanted to keep lazing around, but my wife pulled out a phoenix feather and turned it into a rocket launcher.

“Husband, you take care of looking pretty. I’ll handle all the fighting!”

And so, the immortal was forced back to work. The apocalypse, where all living things had fallen silent, became a live broadcast full of noise thanks to us.

Dear readers, grab your snacks and watch how this old married couple turns the cultivation world into a comedy show with public displays of affection and feathers!