My Analects of Fists: Saving the World Through Physics

Gu Jingshen wakes up as the villainous billionaire in a tacky short drama, fated to be humiliated by one “chosen protagonist” after another. He intends to lie flat, but after binding to the “Lunyu System,” he discovers that the true essence of the sages’ teachings is to send people to their deaths by physical force. “A gentleman who is not grave will not inspire awe” means that a gentleman must hit hard to establish his authority. “Since you’ve come, make yourself at home” means that since you’ve come, you might as well be buried here.

He wants to quietly study this “truth,” but his domineering butler, Uncle Zhong, always overinterprets every one of his “reasoned arguments” as a call to action. When Gu Jingshen tells a miracle doctor, “At thirty, one stands firm,” Uncle Zhong breaks the man’s legs in three places. When Gu laments that the elite soldier “reviews the old to learn the new,” Uncle Zhong sends him back to the border to be retrained from scratch.

When the supernatural resurgence begins and both holy light and mystical arts prove useless, Gu Jingshen lifts the Lunyu, and a vast righteous aura surges toward the heavens. He says, “The Master does not speak of strange forces and spirits,” and his words become law, silencing all things. When an indescribable S-rank supernatural entity devours heaven and earth, Uncle Zhong steps in front of him and says coldly to the apocalyptic calamity, “You disturbed the young master while he was reading. You deserve to die ten thousand deaths.”