Empress, Don’t Fool Around. I’m Still Inside Your Body

To put it plainly: sharing a body with a deposed emperor who’s a demonic woman is driving me to the brink of insanity. I’m Lin Yuan, the Night Patrol Office’s most refined “scholar detective.” She’s Qin Jiuyou, the iron-blooded empress who still thirsts for blood even after being deposed. Now we’re roommates, sharing a two-person suite inside my head. I try to build good relationships with my colleagues by inviting them out for drinks. But she coolly analyzes them in my mind: “This one has a rebellious streak. Kill him.” (Me: ...I just wanted a buddy to get through the workday with!) I try to get criminals to confess through logic and evidence. But she gently persuades me by my ear: “Cut off three of his fingers. He’ll talk faster.” (Me: ...Sis, we’re a legitimate agency!) At long last, I develop a bit of a crush on a girl. She takes over my body, narrows her phoenix eyes, and asks, “Tell me, who is your father? What office does he hold at court? How much influence does he have, and can he be put to use by me?” The girl runs off in fright. Everyone says, “Lord Lin is so aloof, like an immortal descended from heaven. He has no interest in women!” Me: I’m not! I didn’t! Somebody help! She’s ruined every chance I had at romance!