Top Scientist! An Elementary Schooler Hand-Builds a Quantum Satellite

While everyone else was showing off mousetraps and folding ladders,

13-year-old Fang Wensi brought out a nuclear fusion reactor.

The experts on site all scoffed, calling it a delusion of an amateur,

but the moment he activated the device,

searing heat engulfed the studio,

and entire districts of the city lost power.

The experts stared at the readouts, their hands trembling:

This thing uses as much energy as a small city!

Before the doubters had even quieted down,

Fang Wensi threw linear algebra into the mix.

Mathematicians climbed onto desks to copy down the formulas.

His stunt sent the internet into an uproar.

Foreign media accused China of staging a publicity stunt,

but scientists from forty countries secretly came to China to seek cooperation.

Jinping University offered him a vice-dean position and a million-yuan salary.

Shanghai University went so far as to offer him a master's degree.

But Fang Wensi turned them all down.

Pointing at a convenience store, he said:

Buy me an ice cream bar,

and the patent belongs to the country.