On the Brink of Death in Warhammer 40K, I Awaken the Stars and Rise from the Underhive

I think the subject matter is okay, but there are too many useless rhetorical devices and metaphors, and some inexplicable inner monologues. I wonder if it was AI-edited? 😏 With some improvements, it could probably get a five-star rating, though the word count might be a third less. 😏

I'm giving it five stars, mainly because the later parts are well-written. The early setting, particularly the court of judgment, deviated a bit from the basic world-building, but the writing style matured and became more refined later on, showing considerable skill. However, the update frequency is probably too low for a perfect attendance bonus.

Less talking to yourself and less internal monologue

The biggest problem is that no one who's been hijacked by the Inquisition has ever played Merchant Ronin? I even created a female character for Hein of the Inquisition and turned him into a dog. Actually, if you really wanted an Inquisition girlfriend, you should have made the protagonist a bit stronger, but the Inquisition members are human too 🤦. It's like if everyone actually traveled to Warhammer, they'd probably be a medieval old farmer until they die 😂

The later parts are really great. Trust me, the Empire will become the ideal it is in the mid-to-late game, like when the Primarch returns...? No spoilers, just watch it yourself. I suggest watching it chapter by chapter (I didn't pay, I didn't pay, I didn't pay!).

I really like this style, this kind of writing that mixes emotion with a lot of action.

The intermediate level gets much better later on. Keep it up! [Think about it carefully][Think about it carefully]

I feel like some paragraphs I saw in the beginning also appear in the next chapter or two.

I just want to know where that phone went 🤭

So far, this is the most Warhammer-esque system novel I've read. 💕