Global Horror Livestream: An Intangible Cultural Heritage Master Goes on a Killing Spree

“Warning! The vengeful spirit in the Western Zhou bronze coffin has awakened. Countdown to Beijing’s destruction: 24 hours!”

Cultural relic restorer Lin Yuan is putting a Band-Aid on a terracotta warrior when he suddenly gets bound to the Intangible Cultural Heritage Preservation System.

From then on, he is forced to promote endangered traditional crafts during horror livestreams, and things get increasingly absurd:

The Corpse King of western Hunan massacres a village? He fires back by lighting indigo-dyed Yao-pattern cloth: “National-level intangible heritage fireproof fabric. Applying for a physical exorcism!”

A curse in Tokyo begins to spread? She whips out Suzhou nut carving: “A living version of The Tale of the Nuclear Ship! Plenty of room for explosives. Let’s blow up that well of resentment!”

Viewers around the world rage about feudal superstition, but the Palace Museum’s research institute hastily posts an appraisal certificate:

“This is a national-protection artifact personally approved by the Yongle Emperor. Historical record code: CN-666.”

In the ultimate dungeon, a hundred thousand terracotta warriors in the First Emperor’s mausoleum all rise as corpses.

Lin Yuan pulls out a faded Qin brocade battle flag and shouts at the top of his lungs: “Bearers of intangible heritage, heed my command!”

The terracotta warriors behind him fall to their knees with a thunderous crash: “The nation we failed to defend two thousand years ago, we will defend today! Boss, could you settle our back pay for restoring the relics?”

Later, the United Nations issues an emergency announcement:

“Chinese intangible cultural heritage has been added to the ultimate defense list for human civilization. Defense code: Lin Yuan’s mouth.”

Top comments:

“So intangible heritage really is the true supernatural art! #”

“Brother Yuan should start an express course on intangible heritage. Use the deluxe edition of The Exploitation of the Works of Nature as the textbook! #”

“The UN: From now on, declare your intangible heritage before starting a fight, or it counts as a sneak attack!”