My Name Is Niu Baojia

When Niu Baojia was six, he poked an electrical outlet with a wire. The high-voltage current opened up his Ren and Du meridians. From then on, he fought with a lightning whip and every punch packed a hundred thousand volts. The village elders said he had "electric shock fever," but his father secretly dug up the family heirloom manual for the "Eighty-One Forms of Hunyuan Xingyi Taiji Fist."

"Son, our family fist technique has always been missing the true-fire element of electricity. Our ancestors just weren't born at the right time!"

Years later, at an MMA match, the commentator screamed, "Niu Baojia has used that move, 'Thunder Dragon's Serpentine Strike,' again!"

His opponent lay on the ground, blackened and twitching. The referee was so scared he fled into the stands. The live-stream comments exploded: "Traditional martial arts debunked? This is freaking cultivation!"

No one knew Niu Baojia was desperately holding in a pee. Every time he discharged electricity, it leaked, crackling away in his pants.