Journey to the West: I've Already Returned to Secular Life, So Why Bother Fetching Scriptures?

[Journey to the West + Tang Monk + defying heaven + rebellious protagonist] [Alternate title: Going to fetch the scriptures? What scriptures? This humble monk hasn’t been a monk for years. Why would I go fetch scriptures?] I’m Jiang Liu. I transmigrated to the Tang Dynasty and became a carefree playboy, living a life of pure luxury! Then one day, Guanyin Bodhisattva appeared before me and told me I was Jin Chanzi reborn, the Pilgrim chosen by fate to fetch the scriptures? What a joke! Go to the Western Heaven to fetch scriptures? Become a walking experience pack for the Eighty-One Tribulations? You can forget it! [Ding! A fateful choice has been detected. Host, please choose!] [Choice One: Accept your fate and become a Buddhist sect grind machine. Reward: Merit-Gold Body...] [Choice Two: Politely decline and put survival first. Reward: Immortality Pill...] [Choice Three: Give a hard refusal, fire back at Guanyin, and go all-in on rebellion! Reward: The primordial world's top cultivation art, the Nine-Turn Mystic Origin Art, and the supernatural art “Mighty Heavenly Dragon”!] As if I need to think about it! I immediately let loose. “Bodhisattva, this is moral blackmail! Fetching the scriptures is a death trap. Demons with powerful backers get taken away, while those without connections are beaten to death with a staff. This situation is way over my head. I’m just a mortal!” [Ding! Congratulations, Host, you have completed Choice Three! Your sharp words have shocked the Three Realms! Your reward has been issued!] Guanyin is left speechless by my retort and runs off in disgrace! The Five Directions’ Truth-Discerning Spirits come charging over, hoping to force me onto the road? [Ding! Buddhist enforcers have arrived. Host, please choose!] [Choice One: Swallow your anger...] [Choice Two: ...] [Choice Three: Show them what “Mighty Heavenly Dragon” means! Reward: A tremendous increase in cultivation...!] So you’re the Five Directions’ Truth-Discerning Spirits? Quite a grand entrance, huh? I grin. “Just in time. I’ll use you to test my supernatural art!”