After Becoming a Eunuch, I Got a Happy Ending with the Emperor

I transmigrated into a little eunuch who'd just been castrated, and woke up dumped in a mass grave. Thanks to everything I'd learned from palace-intrigue dramas, I became the hottest fixer in the harem: I helped Consort An shape her brows with snail-shell pigment, taught the noble ladies to bathe with soap, and made a hundred taels a month selling Western mirrors. The emperor watched coolly as I sweet-talked his concubines. “Little Yu, you're quite the schemer.” Then assassins attacked, and he shielded me, taking a blade for me. “If I die... would you like to be buried with me?” Years later, when archaeologists opened the imperial tomb, they found a eunuch's skeleton wearing a forehead band of Eastern pearls, cradled in the arms of the emperor in his dragon robe. Among the grave goods was a yellowed scrap of paper: “I've got your legs. Now that you're in my arms, don't think you can run.”