Naruto: From the Start, I Stole the Yin Nine-Tails and Blew Up Konoha

[Crafty protagonist + comedy + smart decisions + no saintly heroics + Giant of Light] Ideal car enthusiast Shuoyue was riding in the bike lane when he collided head-on with a Lapras coming the other way! He proved with his life which one was stronger! The good news: he transmigrated and gained a simplified Talent System that rewards hard work. Effort is simplified into breathing! Refining chakra is simplified into sunbathing! He also gains “Heart Toward the Light,” letting him endlessly refresh his invincible state as long as there’s light! “Don’t look at me” endlessly lowers his presence! Can staying up until his eyes turn red awaken the Eternal Mangekyo? Only then does Shuoyue realize that what’s been simplified is the training process! Even more absurdly, while using “Don’t look at me,” he casually “touches” the Fourth Hokage, steals the Yin Nine-Tails, and becomes its Jinchūriki... Wait, won’t this blow Konoha sky-high? Danzo: This boy is sinister. We must elim... Never mind. Let the Root rot in the mud! Obito: Actually, in front of Uchiha Shuoyue, how about waiting a little longer before you come back to life, Rin? Naruto: Why does your Nine-Tails look like a cat? Madara Uchiha: Keep dancing, Hashirama! Put on a show for my grandson Shuoyue! Tobirama: You naturally evil Uchiha brat, why are you shining so brightly? Akatsuki: Don’t let him get any sunlight! Zetsu, use spores to make clouds and block the light! Uchiha Shuoyue: What? You said I’m bald, right?! Black Zetsu: Nobody told me that even a gaze counts as light!