I Loaded an Absurd System

“Sweetheart, Grandma’s going back to the underworld to become a judge.”

The old woman in the hospital bed slurped down the last of her milk tea and chewed the pearls so loudly they nearly shook the room. “I’m leaving you this workbook, Three Years of Qi Refining, Five Years of Foundation Building. Don’t come looking for me at the Bridge of Helplessness if you can’t master it. Oh, and there’s a gluttonous Taotie who loves fried chicken sealed inside our family’s ancestral jade pendant. Remember to feed it twice a week, or it’ll chew up the sofa.”

I clutched the cup of milk tea, its pearls still warm, and watched the hospital bed dissolve into wisps of smoke. The “Miraculous Healer” banner hanging on the wall suddenly changed into an “Underworld Employee of the Month” award.

Only later did I learn that Grandma’s “deathbed guardianship” was just her rushing off to meet her underworld KPI targets, and the “lifesaving item” she left me...

was an application form to become a Meituan delivery rider.