Officer, I Didn't Commit a Crime. That's a Real Bank I'm Running

Yuan Tao: “Officer, I run a real bank. I haven't committed a crime.” “Then what's with the words ‘Heaven and Earth’ in front?” Yuan Tao: “I run the Bank of Heaven and Earth.” “Then why can people deposit hundreds of millions of yuan there?” Yuan Tao: “I can't help it if they insist on depositing yuan.” “You're doing work that ought to get you shot, but committing fraud.” “Wait, this ten million looks like money from that scam gang last time?” “And this million came from a robbery.” Yuan Tao: “That's right. I'm fighting crime. Look, I haven't touched a penny of the money.” “Then where did the money for your employees' wages come from?” Yuan Tao: “From the people who deposited it.” “I'm not trying to take their money. I'm using it to fight their crimes.” “You say that, and now I'm supposed to praise you?” Yuan Tao: “If you can't bring yourself to say it, you can praise me in your heart.” The girl who scammed an honest man out of two million, the contractor who didn't pay his workers, the big boss who ran off with the money, the thief who stole hundreds of thousands, and the bandit who robbed millions were all handcuffed, still crying out: “You have to shoot that bastard!” “He's the biggest criminal of them all!” A few months later. An officer stood in front of Yuan Tao. “How are you going to explain yourself this time?” Yuan Tao: “I sell real fake money!” “My shop says so, look: ‘Guaranteed genuine fake money!’” The officer's expression turned remarkable. “So you're saying you guarantee your counterfeit money is fake?” Yuan Tao: “You didn't think I was selling real counterfeit money, did you? I'd never do anything illegal.”