I Only Lost a Little Blood, So Why Are You Tying Off My Artery?

【Military Doctor System + emergency medicine + blunt, no-nonsense medical skills + contrast + twists + showing off】 Zhang Hao transmigrates to a parallel world, joins an international emergency medicine reality show, and obtains the strongest Military Doctor System. Nurse: Doctor, we can’t stop this patient’s bleeding! Zhang Hao: Easy. Pull out the blood vessel and tie a knot in it. See? It stopped. Patient: Dude, this is a blood vessel, not a water pipe! Nurse: Doctor! The patient’s heart has stopped! Zhang Hao: Cut open his chest and squeeze his heart with your bare hands! Look, it’s beating! Patient: Bro, please be gentle. That’s my heart in your hand, not a stress ball! Nurse: This patient has a collapsed lung and can’t breathe! Zhang Hao: Easy. Make an incision in the chest and let the air out. Patient: I’m not inflatable! Nurse: Doctor! A piece of the patient’s skull has fallen off! Zhang Hao: I don’t have any tools on hand, so let’s use a stapler to hold it in place for now. Patient: …I *****! … Online comments: “I was only bleeding a little. Why did you pull out my main artery?!” “I just had an infected, inflamed finger, and Dr. Zhang Hao wanted to amputate it!” “I totally trust Dr. Zhang Hao’s medical skills, but whoever tells me to see him is getting punched twice first!” “My dad treats the livestock in our village more gently than Dr. Zhang Hao!” “I find Dr. Zhang Hao’s bedside manner really familiar. He always reminds me of my uncle who repairs big trucks!” “Other doctors: I’ll make sure you survive! Dr. Zhang Hao: I’ll make sure you’re fixed!” … Faced with the online crowd’s misunderstandings, Zhang Hao feels deeply aggrieved: “Who cares if I’m heavy-handed? Just tell me, did I save them or not?!”