The Demon Beast’s Rise: The Junior Disciples’ Forbidden Favorite!
妖兽逆袭：师弟们的禁忌宠儿！
- Status
- Completed
- Length
- 1.2M Words
- Genre
- Unknown
- Subgenre
- Unknown
- Updated
- 7mo ago
- Source
- Fanqie
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Reader comments 14
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The subject matter is very good, but I would like to make a small suggestion. In the dialogue of this novel, the word "said" appears a bit frequently, and they are all said by xxx. Too many words of "said" seem a bit stiff and mechanical. The word "said" can be reduced and rich dialogue markers can be used, such as using different verbs (such as proposing, nodding, supplementing, eyes light up) and descriptive phrases, which can show the flow of dialogue and the emotional changes of the characters more vividly and naturally. For example: Original conversation: "Tom, let's go to the library," Jack said. "Good idea, I'm just looking for some new books to read," said Tom. "I heard that there are some good mystery novels recently." Jack said. "Really? I'm also interested in mystery novels." Tom said. Revised dialogue: "Tom, let's go to the library." Jack suggested. "Good idea," Tom nodded, "I was just looking for some new books to read." Jack added: "I heard that there are some good mystery novels recently." "Really?" Tom's eyes lit up, "I'm also very interested in mystery novels." This is just my little thought as a reader. I hope it can help your work to be more perfect. Come on.
I only ask one question! All? All? All? [Lick the screen][lick the screen][angry] I hope it is [shy][shy]
It's very interesting. Personally, I feel that there is too much written about Xiaoqi's past life. There is another question. I just want to know whether the child is a phoenix or a dragon? (If the author doesn't like it, you can delete [send heart] [send heart]) The first 175 chapters describe Xiaoqi's current life, and then the next 155 chapters describe Xiaoqi's previous life, and then! Start describing Xiaoqi's previous life again! ! ! Wow, I really don't want to say anything [smile]
Jiang Zi is really explosive. . . [Face covering] [OK] Some places are a bit stiff.
What can I say about this work? There were a lot of mistakes at the beginning. Everyone helped me a lot and revised it many times. As a result, the volume was very small. But I persisted, 200,000 to 1 million, for a long time. I was a little reluctant to let it go. I will use AI to expand it in the future and strive to achieve an ending I am satisfied with. I couldn't bear to let him give up. There are many pitfalls that have not been filled. Because it is very difficult to write Xiuxian. There are so many materials and many men that I have almost forgotten. Everyone has taught me a lot, and I have learned a lot. You can say that as soon as I practice, I am still suitable for writing long narratives. When will I replenish it? I will leave it longer during the Chinese New Year, and I may replenish it. The break is not the end. In fact, I really like this book. I didn't hold on to the second book test. It's my problem and I'm lazy. But to be honest, I really like this book. I think it's quite normal. It took me a long time to revise it, which wasted a lot of time. I have also seen your criticisms at the beginning, and I have worked hard, but I promised that it will not end, so I will make up for it when I have the opportunity. I also hope that Fengqi will have a good ending.
I read a little bit when I have free time, and then I finish it. In terms of subject matter and content, it is very suitable to my liking, but the connection in some parts is very strange, which makes me feel like I deleted a part and then added it. Also, sometimes I can't figure out whether the words are in my heart or spoken. Come on baby, I look forward to seeing your progress!
It's okay. This is my favorite theme. Umbrella, dance, twin men, bells, charm, and beauty are all my favorites. It's just my feeling. This is a dialogue flow. It would be better if the environment can be added.
Keep up the good work, author! Take good care of you [send my heart] [send my heart] [send my heart]
Author: I really like this type of novel, so please work hard and finish it [Love]
It's pretty but not boring, pretty good