My Wife Is a Man

My wife and I have been married for two years, but we've never shared a bed.

After I confided in a friend, he got some perverted ideas,

hiding under the bed while I was away, hoping to take advantage of my wife.

But the very next day, he was found dead in a filthy ditch, all four limbs chopped off.

Before he died, he left behind a line of writing: "She's a man!"