Growing up, no one ever told me what to do when friendships fell apart, my family was at odds, love went wrong, or I was hurt or bullied. No one explained how to cope with anxiety, depression, loneliness, work stress, or a life that wasn’t going well. No one cared about my emotional needs. Everyone wanted to know how much you earned, but no one asked whether you were tired.
Only later did I understand that no one in this world can truly feel what you feel. You can’t expect others to understand your pain. The Chinese character for “person” is written with two strokes: one for the first half of life, and the other for the second. The first half is about holding on; the second is about letting go. As a child, I cried because I didn’t get candy. At school, I thought the sky was falling when I got a ten on a math test. When love fell apart, life seemed meaningless. Then, little by little, I learned to accept that many things might not go as I hoped, and that there might be things I would never have, no matter how long I lived. I might never get rich or save the world. I might spend my whole life rushing about without accomplishing much. I had to accept that I was an ordinary, inept person. Accepting ourselves as we are, we should live ordinary lives with passion. In this unfeeling world, live with all your heart, and every now and then, joke around with life. Life may mistreat me a thousand times, but I’ll love it as I did at the start. May we learn what to hold on to and what to let go of, know when to advance and when to retreat, dwell neither on the past nor fear the future, find joy amid the busyness, and keep starlight in our eyes. May we make it through every season, and find our way through life.
