Naruto: Laugh All You Want, I’m the One Losing Merit

That man descended upon the ninja world with boundless merit. “In this old monk’s eyes, you are the emperor of Buddhism and the champion of the ninja monks!” “What are an emperor of Buddhism and a champion of the ninja monks?” “Still a monk.” “Damn it.” [Merit -10,000.] He takes over as Konoha’s abbot! “Naruto, I sense a tremendous demonic aura about you! Allow this humble monk to exorcise the demon!” “You brazen fiend, accept your death!” “Great Might, Heavenly Dragon!” “World-Honored One, Ksitigarbha!” “Prajna Buddhas, prajna paramita!” The Nine-Tails... whimpering. “Sasuke, though you’re young, you already look so old. You must have deep spiritual roots. You’re a first-rate candidate for Buddhism!” “Monks prize pure senses and emptiness, severing their ties to the mortal world. I’d say you’ve already cut most of yours. You’re perfect for the monastery.” “Think it over. Come to me if you decide to join. Tonsure costs 100 taels per person.” Sasuke... “Hmph, you brazen snake demon! I demand that you help me cultivate.” Orochimaru... “The bigger the waves, the more valuable the fish.” “Remember, keep it safe. Don’t let it fall.” Jiraiya put the salted fish away. “Good sir, you are beautiful.” Tsunade was delighted. “Really?” “Indeed. You have the beauty of someone who could punch a man to death.” Tsunade... Naruto on his left, Sasuke on his right, Tsunade at his waist, and Orochimaru at his chest: anyone who stands in his way will die, whether man or Buddha. With countless ninja monk disciples beneath him, what does a little merit matter?