The Courage to Be Disliked: Philosophical Lessons from Adler, the "Father of Self-Enlightenment"

This book is really good. It completely overturned my previous world view and values. I used to be inwardly focused on myself and pay attention to other people's thoughts, thus losing my true heart. I originally thought the book was so boring, but only by experiencing it myself did I realize the power that knowledge brings to people. I cared too much about others. People's feelings, so they lose themselves, care about the small environment of life in school, and ignore the larger social environment. If there is no sense of belonging in the small environment, then look for the sense of belonging in the larger environment and escape from the small environment. This is what I got from it. Life is not defined, just live in the present.

1. The meaning of life is an open-ended subjective question. You can give it your own meaning, because existence is meaningful. Life is also a dotted line, and each stage is an experience. There is no cause and effect, and we cannot focus on the results utilitarianally. 2. All "troubles" come from interpersonal relationships. Maintaining equal and horizontal relationships and accepting oneself that cannot satisfy everyone is the embodiment of freedom and self. 3. Self-acceptance, accept the ordinary self, worldly success and failure are the games of capital. 4. Separate topics, and you must distinguish between controllable and uncontrollable events. Controllable events: Take initiative, be proactive, and bravely attack on your own topics, and be self-accepting and reject the theory of cause and effect. Uncontrollable events: Other people's issues have nothing to do with me. People close to me can guide but do not interfere. If you understand the needs of others, you will know not to ask "why why?" This is the best book I have read this year, and I am even happier when I read it.

The content is easy to understand and is especially suitable for little cuties who suffer from internal friction. It can help you get out of internal friction and no longer doubt yourself.

This is a very philosophical book that uses the form of dialogue to describe personal doubts. To sum up, 1. It is always you who decides the present moment. You must face the so-called problems head-on with courage. This is the price of freedom, but at the same time you can live your life without regrets and gain satisfaction. 2. All worries come from interpersonal relationships. Make good use of the separation of issues and don't let other people's issues involve too much of your own mind. 3. You are the center of the regional map, but not the center of the world map. It is right to pay attention to yourself, but do not ignore the boundaries between yourself and others. 4. The spotlight of life should be focused on the present moment where you are. The past and the future are both inaccessible. Mastering the present moment that dances your life is the most complete interpretation of the momentary life. Through continuous reading, Adlerian psychology has indeed used its unique thoughts and insights to reshape a different world view. One more thing, you have to have the courage to be hated. When you are hated, it just proves your freedom. If you are a person who pursues freedom, please don't ignore it.

This book has become very popular in recent years. I have heard recommendations for this book on various programs and occasions. Da Zhangwei said that all unhappiness stems from interpersonal relationships. As long as you don't care about other people's opinions, you can solve most of the problems in life. This book also talks about the fact that others don't care much about us, and we cannot expect to be loved by everyone. Some people like us, and some people will hate us, but what kind of people we are does not depend on other people's likes and dislikes.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the last chapter is really a lively debate, this INFP is ecstatic, many words directly hit my heart, I can only express my agreement by exclaiming "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh". Little old man Adler, you are so interesting! Ahhhhhhhhhhh. There is also that super romantic sentence, Ichiro Kishimi wants to be Adler's Plato, absolutely, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhending was the words remarking on the words the words of the words of the words of the words of the words of the words of remark, saying remark that Ichiro's a sentence of a saying in a saying a a a a a a aried tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow, saying saying that Ichiro Kishimi wanted to be Adler's Plato, that's absolutely amazing!

This book is so well written, especially for people like me who are very timid, lack courage, and are submissive. I learned that I have to have the courage to be hated by others, don't care about what others think, and just be myself. Don't think about the past or think about the future, but grasp the present moment, work hard step by step from now on, and constantly accumulate yourself, which will lay the foundation for a better self in the future.

A very favorite book. Through reading and understanding this book, I have a different perspective on the problems I faced in the past (life issues, understanding of the past). "People are not influenced by past reasons, but move towards the goals they have set." "What is important is not what is given, but how to use what is given." "The meaning of life is given to oneself." "Self-acceptance" "Trust in others" "Devotion to others" I think these words need to be practiced by oneself and gradually become a world view.

This book is so cruel. It cruelly exposes the most unbearable side of our hearts and the side that we least want to face. So much so that every time I read a short paragraph, I have to wait for a while before reading again. It is really cruel.

This is a very good book. It is different from our conventional thinking, and it is a way to break that kind of thinking to seek freedom. In short, it can be said to be very useful for solving the troubles in life. It is a book worth reading and understanding again and again.

I already bought the physical version and watched it twice! It's a very good book, it's chicken soup but not like chicken soup. It's a book that feels like it will give you some insights and inspirations after reading it. It taught me not to be someone else's vassal, but to learn to be myself and a ray of freedom. The past does not determine you, but you determine the past. An ideal relationship is probably "I love you, but it has nothing to do with you."

Awesome, people with low self-esteem and introversion must read it.

It's cool, but some of the content is controversial, such as the danger of attributing a lot to oneself and ignoring the environment and compromising social oppression. Especially the rationalization and justification of the oppression of rights and capital exploitation behind women and the rich may be helpless individual self-consistency and another kind of deception, that is, "life lies". The position has certain problems but is doubtful. But overall it is a good book with a certain degree of value that requires independent and practical thinking. Life requires self-acceptance and reconciliation. "Living in the moment" and "seeing the timidity behind one's actions" as well as the key "separation of topics" will provide us with new methodologies for action, so that in the present moment when the meaning of God-given has collapsed with the collapse of theism, we can better grasp the meaning of self-given and avoid confusion and helplessness.

The logic is clear and beautiful, and the sentences in it are of great benefit to me. I am a nostalgic person, and I often emo late at night. I am also a person with strong self-esteem. I may feel inferior because of other people's thoughts, but after reading this book, I am me. Don't feel anxious and inferior because of interpersonal relationships. How you spend your future is not determined by the past, but by who you are at this moment. I often want to make changes, but I always find reasons, such as if I get this question right, will my score be higher, etc. , After reading this book, I figured out that I should not be afraid of the unknown world and flustered without making changes or trying to take this step. I should take this step bravely! I often wonder why I wasn't born into that rich family. People born into rich families are so lucky. Although I still feel a little envious now, my background cannot be changed. All I can do is change myself and make changes for my ideal goals. Isn't this a blessing? In fact, there is still a lot I want to say. In fact, when I was reading this book, I was very touched. I often felt that some of the things in it were really relevant to life. To me, that young man seemed to be my own personal experience. In short, this book is really good and I recommend everyone to read it.

It's really rewarding. I won't say too much nonsense. It helped me a lot. It's worth recommending.

It is a very good book. After reading this book, I felt calmer in my heart. During the reading process, I felt confused, resonated, reflected, enlightened, enlightened, and suddenly became enlightened. In short, I benefited a lot. The subjects are separated. Life is about constantly comparing yourself with your ideal self, rather than living under the evaluation of others. It doesn't matter even if you are disliked. That is someone else's subject. Live your own life. I care more about how I am doing than what other people think of me. What impressed me most was 1. The so-called freedom means having the courage to be hated by others. 2The past and future are both virtual, only this moment is the most real 3Self-acceptance and contribution of others 4 All troubles originate from interpersonal relationships. All conflicts in interpersonal relationships originate from arbitrarily interfering with other people's issues or having one's own issues interfered with by others. 5 Life is not a straight line, but many consecutive points …

This book is really recommended to those who are fragile, sensitive and have low self-esteem. It will bring you unexpected shocks, sharp words and precise expressions, which gave me a lot of inspiration and insights. It is like a secret book in my life, which I can't put down!

It is a relatively easy-to-understand book and a good introductory book on psychology. Many concepts in the book are subversive, but they also feel very useful. For example, topics such as separation of topics and teleology are very suitable for people who are depressed or are not confident in themselves or anxious. However, some places are relatively difficult to understand. For example, I have never understood the community. Maybe it's because I am relatively young and don't have much social experience. I can't understand it yet. I think I might do it twice or three times in the future [get it]

A very, very good book. I have read a lot and have covered extensively in various fields, but I can say that this is the book that has inspired me the most in more than 20 years. It completely touched on all my previous thoughts and mental journeys. It was precisely because I had enough thoughts before and a complete personality change. Reading this book seemed to clear the clouds and see the blue sky. I only knew the art before, that is, how to change, but I didn't know why it was like this. What is its internal logic and thinking system? Now it is completely clear to me.

After reading it, it was very clear. I talked about purpose, separation of topics, treating others as partners, not enemies, community, contributions of others, being ourselves and not being afraid of being disliked by others, we must have the courage to be disliked!

A book that reshapes three perspectives. Looking at the name, I thought it was chicken soup literature, but I didn't expect it to actually be a philosophy of the spiritual world. He said that the reason why people are stuck in the past is because they lack the courage to move forward. Because the future is unpredictable, we dwell on the past and stop at the present, trapped in the cage we have woven and unable to extricate ourselves.

When I read it, I felt like I was unveiling the veil of life. It was enlightening and very practical. After reading it, I can look at various problems in life more clearly and rationally, such as low self-esteem, interpersonal communication, work... [Like][Like][Like]

This is a psychological work that subverts previous thinking. Adlerian psychology is the psychology of courage. It believes from the perspective of teleology that all human troubles stem from interpersonal relationships. The starting point of interpersonal relationships is separation of subjects, and the end point is a sense of community (seeing others as partners and feeling that one has a place in them). To establish an equal horizontal relationship. Divide life into three major topics: making friends, work and love, so that we can learn to separate topics. We must accept ourselves, trust others and contribute to others, pay attention to this moment, and from this moment on, we can become happy. After reading it, I benefited a lot, but it still takes time to understand and master it. I think what I can do now is to focus on the present from now on and separate the topics well. Treat others as partners. Accept yourself as you are now, no matter what happened in the past or what will happen in the future. Trust others, do your job well, strive to contribute to others, and realize your own value. That is happiness [smile]

The author's language is really sharp, and the translated text is still very vivid. I saw the shadows of myself and many people around me in the book. I can now understand the problems in interpersonal relationships that I couldn't explain before. In short, it is highly recommended.

This book is very beautiful. It is based on a dialogue between a young man and a philosopher. On the surface, you feel like you are a third party, and then you watch the two of them speak. In fact, the further you read, you will find that you are that young man. Many times your thoughts will be very similar to the young man. In this book, there will be many Concepts will subvert your understanding. For example, the philosopher said that happiness is a sense of contribution; the meaning of life is given by oneself; although different, but equal; past things cannot be changed, but looking at them means looking at the meaning you give to past things; sometimes do not aim for the sake of goals, but focus on the present, and do not To live in the past and the future, we cannot change the past or the future. The future is unknown, so we only need to focus on the present; interpersonal relationships are simple, because you are the leader of interpersonal relationships; separation of subjects is very important; the psychological shadow that exists in the original family actually does not exist. This sentence also corresponds to the previous sentence: The past cannot be changed, but it depends on the meaning you attach to past events, etc. (This paragraph must be a lot of spoilers for those who have just read this book, but you can also omit this paragraph.) The above things are basically what I gained after reading this book. In fact, after reading this book, you will already have a lot of courage. Many of the ideas in the book will shock you, just as the title of the book says, the courage to be hated. We still need to think more when reading, or think while reading the comment area, so that we can better absorb the essence of the book and better understand what the author and philosopher want to say to us.

This book is wonderful beyond words. Although I have read it twice, there are still some points that I have not fully understood, but it doesn't matter. After reading the book a hundred times, its meaning will become apparent. This is a good and durable book. This will definitely not be the last time I read it. See you next time [Understand] [Love].

The biggest gain from this book is to subvert the way of attribution and give yourself the courage to change. There are five main points learned: 1. Overturn determinism: We are not bound by the past, the present is the result of our own choices. What matters is not what is given, but how you use it. 2. All troubles originate from interpersonal relationships. The antidote is separation of tasks - distinguishing what is my business and what is other people's business, and not living for other people's expectations. 3. Freedom is no longer seeking approval. "Being disliked" is not the goal, but the price we must bear when we live our lives and exercise our freedom. 4. Happiness is a sense of contribution. Only when you change from "I am obsessed" to "We care" and find belonging in the community can you gain true happiness. 5. Life is a series of moments. You must have the courage to be ordinary and live seriously in every moment. In short, the world is very simple and happiness is available at any time. The key lies in whether you have the courage to choose it.

Nb! Awesome! Adlerian psychology is amazing. It's really harsh, but surprisingly gentle. I believe that from the moment I read this book, I changed. And I love this change. It is also because of this book that I finally found the life creed, or motto, that I have been searching for for 21 years. Always childlike, always loving, always thinking.

I feel that this form of dialogue is very engaging for me, allowing me to integrate into their conversations and have a better understanding in this mutual discussion situation. At the same time, what the young people say seems to express my own questions on my behalf, and there are many truths in it that are very practical when I think about it carefully. It can change my way of thinking and reduce my own internal friction. It is a very good book!

There are many interesting viewpoints in it Teleology, holism, subject separation... Although I was disgusted at first, when I posted it, the situation was indeed very consistent with me. Teleology is like analyzing myself. People don't get angry just to be angry, but to make others surrender. Pain exists, and it is often used as a reason, as detailed in the book. In short, this book is constantly controversial and has mixed reviews. Some people like it and some don't like it. When I first read it, when he mentioned the theory of teleology and analyzed himself, I was very resistant and even wanted to vomit. However, as I went on, I found that it made more sense.