My Immortal Bones Were Crippled from the Start, So I Livestream God-Slaying in the Mortal World

Taiyi Zhenren never dreamed that changing Nezha's fate would get him stripped of his immortal bones by the Jade Emperor and kicked down into the mortal world.

"Taiyi Zhenren, what's the answer to this question?"

Our homeroom teacher, the Queen Mother of the West, stares sternly at me through her gold-rimmed glasses, their lenses glinting coldly.

I blurt out, "This is the Nine Palaces Li-Fire Formation. We should take the Xun position..."

As the whole class bursts into laughter, a mechanical voice suddenly rings out:

Ding! The Myriad Worlds Education System has activated.

Current mission: Pass the weekly math test.

Reward: Trial version of the Samadhi True Fire.

The Jade Emperor smashes his throne in the Hall of Celestial Purity: "Shut down his livestream!"

I whip out my college entrance exam admission ticket, and the Thirty-Three Heavens go dark in an instant.

Shut down my livestream? I'm investing in Ne Zha 2: Demon Child Conquers the Sea, aiming to make it the top-grossing film worldwide and awaken the whole nation's memories of god-slaying!

Now the Heavenly Court has a kill order out for me, the campus belle Su Daji, reincarnated, knocks on my door every night asking to cultivate dual cultivation, and my Huawei phone is livestreaming alchemy at the Tusita Palace:

"Listen up, folks! A budget-friendly version of the Nine-Turn Golden Elixir. Send a rocket gift and enter the draw... Holy crap, stop sending them! My merit points are about to blow up the Southern Heavenly Gate!"

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.