I Play FGO in Bleach

Game update after maintenance: Limited-time rate-up for the five-star Servant Sōsuke Aizen.

Kongdou: Sōsuke Aizen? Who's that? And he's a limited Servant? Never heard of him. Go play somewhere else.

Collection - Sōsuke Aizen. Starting card art: (omitted.jpg)

Kongdou: Huh? Who's this handsome guy?

Kongdou: I don't care, I'm pulling for Sōsuke Aizen!

Saint Quartz remaining: 2

Kongdou: 6

Kongdou: I'm spending money!

...What's going on? Could you at least respect the original? You could've put in a payment screen, at the very least!

(He opens the card art and can only see the first skill.)

[Skill: Kyoka Suigetsu A. Effect: Freely makes enemies mistake all things in the world for something else.]

Kongdou: ...I take it back. He's not just eye candy, he's a gorgeous powerhouse.

(After going through hell and back to pull a copy of Aizen, he discovers that his Bond Level is already 5 and he's somehow reached level 120.)

Kongdou, again: ...Dude, are you trying to get with me?

Never mind, at level 120, you're my Master!

[The accuracy of the blurb above is about as reliable as the opening of the Soul Society arc in Bleach. Yeah.]