Border Two Countries

He must be a young author. You can see traces of this kind of composition from his student days. Since I really like this style of detailed scene description, I decided to come to the comment area to encourage you. As someone who has experienced it, some suggestions are just suggestions. You can think about it appropriately: First, if you like to create fantasy stories, you may want to think clearly as soon as possible whether you want to develop in the direction of online writing or pure literature. The fantasy online articles in our Chinese community, whether they are original Western Fantasy, Zhongzhou World, D&D, HP or other acgn fan fiction, are essentially fantasy articles for readers to have fun with. Therefore, if you want to write in this direction, you must abandon almost all scenes, environments, atmospheres, and psychological descriptions. You must also restrain the author's willingness to talk about himself in the text, and only pursue a short, flat and quick style. Remember, just describe the characters' actions and dialogues, no extra words. Your current writing style is the other way around, it's too complicated. I don't know the situation of Chuangshi, but if it is Qidian or some other mainstream paid online writing platforms, no matter how good the story is, there will basically be no chance of signing a contract with this style of writing, and naturally no readers will be able to see it. Of course, if you don't care about the development rules of online writing and just want to write what you like, then I suggest you develop in the direction of pure literature, because your writing has certain potential. Be careful of arrogance and impetuosity, and train well, and you may be able to write beautiful fantasy articles in the future. Well, this track is far broader than online writing, but you may not be able to make money in your lifetime, of course, but at least it can bring you your own happiness. If you want to go this route, you probably won't have a good choice at the beginning. You can pay attention to saving original manuscripts, and then post your own official account. Second, there are big problems with the main title, chapter titles, introduction and character design of the novel. First of all, the main title of your novel, or the title of the book, will dissuade 99.9% Of people at a glance. The remaining people will also be dissuaded by your introduction and character design at the beginning. If it's an online article, you don't need to be very creative, but at least you have to introduce the theme of the entire book through the main title, right? For example, after I read your six chapters, I naturally know that it is about the story of "Two Borders", but for those who have not read it, they are confused after reading the four-character title, and naturally they will not click on the text to read. In other words, if you change the main title to something as mediocre as "Sword and Magic: The Struggle of Boys from Two Kingdoms", it would be better than an inexplicable four-character title. Looking back, if you want to write in the direction of pure literature, of course a four-character title is fine. Compared with the straightforward online title, this type of title can be more symbolic and willful, but it should also highlight the character's image or his growth process. Four-character titles are difficult to grasp. You can try again after your writing skills have fully developed. Secondly, let's talk about the introduction and character design. If you want to write a good online article, you can't let the main text and introduction be misaligned. Let me give you an example. Your introduction gives me the feeling that Xu He is the first male protagonist. So, when I started reading the text, the first four chapters were all about Xu Zhi. What does this sound like? I thought Xu Zhi was Xu He. It was only in Chapter 5 that I saw Xu He appear. Perhaps, this is not a big problem in pure literary creation, but in online writing, this is ironclad evidence that editors and readers will sentence you to death. If you want to write a web article, especially a fantasy web article, you only need to remember one thing at the beginning. In the first sentence of the opening sentence, mention the name of the protagonist immediately. If you want to follow the traditional fantasy narrative style, I still don't recommend that the characters have names with strong Chinese language and literary styles. Finally, there is the chapter title. If your main title and introduction are clever and attractive enough, then your chapter title can naturally be arbitrary. But the chapter titles should also be coherent and straightforward, allowing readers to know where the story is going by just glancing at the table of contents. Of course, it's best if you can do this, but if you can't do it the least, feel free. Third, this involves some issues of language and literary literacy. I admire those who dare to express the author's thoughts through long and short sentences and idioms in articles, and even show off their skills. But for this kind of behavior to be recognized by readers, it takes a long time of learning and cultural accumulation. Chinese language is different from many subjects. There is never a so-called genius. Behind the beautiful and gorgeous words, many ordinary people can tell whether they have accumulated more or less cultural literacy. I like your writing style and word structure very much, but there are many typos, wrong words and grammatical errors, so you can study hard and better hone your Chinese skills. All in all, I have something interesting to say. I clicked into your book out of boredom at first, but what kept me reading was that I was used to the short, quick narratives of online articles, and my eyes lit up when I saw your fairy tale-like narrative at the beginning. I don't know if you want to imitate Tolkien's slow and eloquent writing style, but this can be considered a possible direction. Anyway, you should consider whether you want to write online articles or plain articles, have a good attitude, keep learning, don't be discouraged, and don't bury your talent in creating Chinese fantasy stories. Best wishes!