A Ghost Is Coming for the Movie Emperor, but a Five-Year-Old Wields a Sword to Chop Melons

Bad news: Gu Hanzhou, the former double-award-winning Best Actor, has completely fallen off and is going on a supernatural show for kids, where he’ll probably die.

Good news: He has a five-and-a-half-year-old daughter.

Even worse news: She can’t even do addition and subtraction within ten.

Everyone expected the father and daughter to be scared to tears in the haunted mansion, but the show took a completely different turn.

(A ghost on the rafters tries to claim their lives.)

Chu Yi pulls out a golden, thousand-year-old magical weapon and slices a giant watermelon in half.

Ghost: Could you at least respect my profession?!

(A popular young actress releases a vengeful infant spirit.)

Chu Yi crushes the evil ghost with her bare hands until it’s the size of a walnut, then stuffs it into an empty formula tin.

Actress: This isn’t how the script goes!

(The thousand-year-old Ghost King unleashes his ultimate move.)

Chu Yi angrily throws out a Five Thunder Talisman and stomps on the Ghost King’s head.

"You ruined my 1,888-yuan new dress! Pay up!"

Ghost King: Have you no manners?

Other people nearly die on kids’ variety shows. Chu Yi comes back from hers with so much loot that her hands are sore.

Later, the grand masters of the metaphysical world lined up at the door to ask her for guidance.

Gu Hanzhou bowed helplessly. "Please, have mercy, everyone. My daughter’s crying over her kindergarten math homework!"