The me in the history books:
The grandson of Emperor Xiaowu, the most incompetent ruler of Changyi, a puppet in Huo Guang's hands, a historical laughingstock, a plaything of Empress Dowager Shangguan, and the disgraced Emperor of the Han, Liu He.
The me standing before you:
The grandson of Emperor Xiaowu, the leader of Guanzhong's wandering knights, a mediator between Confucianism and Mohism, Huo Guang's lifelong nemesis, protector of the Western Regions, initiator of the Han's New Life Movement, and the scourge of Eurasia's four great evils.
Liu Bingyi: My distant uncle got me a good job.
Huo Guang: Your Majesty is ruthless.
Su Wu: Help me up! I want to go on a diplomatic mission to Kushan for Your Majesty!
Fu Jiezi: I'll cross the sea and bring back the head of the Wa chieftain!
The common people said: “Our Son of Heaven is virtuous and does not treat us like ants. We are willing to live and die with Your Majesty.”
