From the Start as Peak Beckham: All That Matters Is Looking Good

Anyone more handsome than me can't play football as well as I can.

Anyone who plays football better than me doesn't exist.

All right, I'll come clean.

I'm the very embodiment of beauty and wisdom,

of heroism and chivalry,

a force for changing society's values,

the idol of countless young women,

a shot in the arm for the football market,

a boost to young people's character,

graceful as a jade tree,

and elegant and debonair: a winner on the pitch!