I Only Want to Lie Flat, but the System Forces Me to Compete

Shen Yanqing was once the laziest immortal at Yuxu Palace on Qilin Peak in the Kunlun Mountains. In three thousand years as an immortal, he had never practiced a single day. The Celestial Worthy of Primordial Beginning kicked him straight into the underworld. He was even lazier there, spending three thousand years lying around and not bothering to reincarnate, until the King of Hell kicked him into the Tang Dynasty, where he became the eldest legitimate son of Chancellor Wei Zheng. After being bound to the King of Couch Potatoes System, he planned to keep lounging his days away. The lazier he was, the more rewards he got, and even lying down increased his cultivation. But a treatise on the Western Regions caused a stir throughout the court. The Crown Prince reached out to him, the Third Prince secretly sabotaged him, and three thousand defenders at Tiemen Pass ran out of food as they waited for reinforcements. Forced to climb out of his chair, Shen Yanqing used official documents from the Eastern Palace and Pei Xiuyuan's trade connections to transport grain from Jiangnan through the canal and into the Wei River, breaking the siege of Tiemen Pass. By imperial decree, the sixteen-year-old was appointed Commissioner of Military Agriculture in the Western Regions and sent to a territory the Third Prince had spent over a decade cultivating. The Liangzhou military farm was nothing but an empty shell: its account books were blank, its keys were missing, and its roster listed only two people. Everyone was waiting to see how the young lord from Chang'an would make a mess of things. Shen Yanqing squatted in a wasteland and broke apart a clod of cracked earth. After spotting moisture three feet below the surface, he picked up a stone and began sharpening a hoe. He spent three days grinding the stone and dug a well three feet deep. On the day water surged up from underground, Cheng Rang, the registrar who had been silent for four years, handed him a sheet listing every detail about the seven merchants in Liangzhou who were hoarding iron. The wind swept in from the edge of the Gobi Desert. The first seed had just sprouted in the thirty acres of farmland. Meanwhile in Chang'an, a military report held back from the authorities and a fire in the western part of the city in the middle of the night were both waiting for him to deal with. After three thousand years of laziness, he had finally encountered something that made him