The Fake Buddha's Disciple

Wang Yuan had been a butcher for three generations. In his twenty years of life, his hand had always been steady and his knife sure. He had never once failed to bone meat or carve it up. His only lifelong obsession was the deliciousness of pork.

One day, he transmigrated to a world of immortals and turned his fate upside down, becoming the Buddha's chosen Buddhist son, the first to appear at Spirit Mountain in hundreds of years. His dharma name was Huiyuan.

The original owner was the village's sole survivor of a calamity caused by demons. Picked up by an elder of Spirit Mountain, he received a heavenly edict at the Water and Land Dharma Assembly. His seniority surpassed the entire temple's, and even the abbot of Spirit Mountain had to call him Granduncle-Master.

All the eminent monks of Spirit Mountain looked on expectantly, convinced he was the chosen Buddhist son, an auspicious sign of Buddhism's revival. They waited for him to attain enlightenment, become a Buddha, save all living beings, and bring glory to the faith.

Unfortunately, the new Buddhist son had no bodhi wisdom or Zen principles on his mind, only braised pig trotters, marinated pig ears, and stir-fried pork belly.

While others chanted sutras and sought enlightenment, he slacked off, slept, and skipped class. While others devoted themselves to Buddhist practice, he plotted day after day to escape and find something to eat.

A casual mutter of "I want pig trotters" was interpreted by a young monk as an eternal Buddhist truth, delighting the eminent monks throughout the temple.

He thought he was hiding his true nature perfectly and slacking off without a trace. Little did he know that the sweet little monk who studied by his side was a hidden master of the fourth rank in the Ninja Realm, using spiritual awareness to livestream every one of his little schemes.

The Buddhist son with the highest seniority and heaven-defying fortune took a laid-back approach to doing nothing: he had no interest in becoming a Buddha, and enlightenment was unnecessary.

My Buddhist path is simple: I don't save all living beings, just my appetite.