I Become the Tribal God of War by Choosing to Lie Flat

I've written so much, why isn't it up for sale yet?

Ah, no one's commented yet. Okay, I'll say a few words. This novel gives me a feeling of hyper-fusion. It's a bit like a patchwork of elements from several female-oriented novels I've read before. But this one isn't exactly a patchwork. It has some original elements, but not many. The protagonist's personality is, well, a standard good-for-nothing.

This author is purely absurdist; even the supporting characters are more interesting than the main characters.

The sizzling smell of waiting to die is unbearable.

You need to have that special skill first.

Swords carry the legacy of a thousand years, blades cleave the world in times of chaos. Spears move like ink dots, sweeping across the land; clubs vanquish demons and pacify all directions. The steel whip, used to subdue demons, shakes the five sacred mountains; the halberd, like twin moons, is a match for ten thousand.

Let the tribesmen bring them here.

Big Brother, shall we exchange encouragement tokens?

I've read your excellent work and look forward to exchanging items with you.

To increase readership, consider the cover design. I guarantee you'll rank 1258-932 on the charts. Wishing your novel great success! --4735