My Girlfriend and Childhood Friend Are Fighting for My Attention Again

My girlfriend says: "As a couple, it's perfectly normal to eat together!"

My girlfriend says: "As a couple, I don't mind letting you touch my thighs!"

My girlfriend says: "As a couple, you can even rest your head on my thighs during lunch break!"

He says: "But the problem is, we're only pretending to be a couple..."

My childhood friend says: "That woman doesn't seem like a good person!"