You've Ascended, So Why Are You Still Working as a Security Guard?

"I'm a security guard, and I'm the damn best!"

"If you're so great, why are you still working as a lowly security guard? Skip work and go fight monsters!"

"Because this job is easy, I can slack off and goof around. Fighting monsters every day would be exhausting. Besides, it only takes one swing of my sword."

"Then what the hell are you lying around here for? Aren't you a security guard? Quit slacking! Even Big Ben in London isn't as lazy as you! Get up, now!"

"I'll get up if you give me a kiss."

"Get lost!"