I Got into Trouble Right After Breaking Up with My Girlfriend

The author is a high school sophomore like me, so you might want to hear my thoughts. Firstly, high school students' writing skills are generally average, and they lack experience. I also want to write novels, but stories always turn out poorly in my hands; I can't produce anything good. So, the author shouldn't blame themselves; it's well-written, and if they persist, things will get better in the future. This is the author's first time writing, and the yandere characters are rather immature. There are two types of yandere: one possessive and the other driven by destructive desires, both of which are not bad. My suggestions are as follows: First and foremost, the characters and plot are not fully developed, and the transitions between characters are weak. Author, after introducing the characters in the previous chapter, the following chapters...

I have some things to do today, so I'll be taking a break from updating today. I'll resume updates tomorrow.

Double update tomorrow, double update tomorrow. My keyboard hasn't arrived, so I can't update.

Huh? It's already over 300,000 words, why hasn't the author published it yet?

Well, I read part of it, and my impression was that the characters' emotional development progressed too quickly, with weak groundwork laid for many relationships. The author portrayed the protagonist as a complete jerk, seemingly falling for every girl he meets. To mitigate this, the author deliberately arranged for his best friend to act as a wingman. Liu Yiyi and Wang Zi had barely met and knew nothing about each other when the male lead was immediately encouraged to confess his feelings. The narrative flowed almost like a diary entry, with the author writing whatever came to mind. The plot didn't hold up to scrutiny. The scene where the male lead went on a date with Yanran had a major flaw: Yanran invited Liu Yiyi, someone she clearly knew, to the date, but later...

The writing is alright, but the character details are lacking. You didn't even describe the male lead's appearance. If you said he was handsome or cute, I could understand his initial actions, but you didn't even describe his appearance, just gave him away without any explanation. Seriously, at least make it engaging! You didn't explain why Liu Yiyi likes the male lead; it's just a one-off thing. It's satisfying to watch, but without details or a story, it feels awkward. And the harem expansion is so unexpected! At least give us a guide on how to win him over, some background information, wouldn't that be better?

I'm here to recommend one of my novels. You can read it by clicking on my profile picture. Please, please add it to your favorites! (Sorry for any inconvenience.)

I know you made a typo, it should be "update next year", right?

Did he die again?

It's the Lantern Festival, and I sent you a bowl of glutinous rice balls in my dream.