I've Eaten This New Year's Eve Dinner Forty-Four Times

This was the forty-fourth time I died on New Year's Eve.

Cause of death: gas explosion.

Time: exactly eight o'clock.

The killer was at this very dinner table.

But I had no time to be afraid.

Because the moment I opened my eyes, the clock on the wall pointed to exactly seven fifty-five.

There were only five minutes left until the explosion.