0046

The white doves at the church soar for love, for freedom.

The filthy water in the sewer is where I belong.

A massive stone weighs me down, and I carry it as I walk on.

Injury, illness, and death happen every day. I simply carry on.

If I stood before her and she asked whether I would cross a thousand worlds to find her, I would say yes. And she would answer, “Liar. This is reality, not some love story or fairy tale about wishful thinking. Nothing like that exists.”

Only I know the truth, the black and white of it. I had no choice.

The past is gone; forgetting is death. The white doves at the church died there because of me. I watched the lovers meet in front of the church, and I wept as blood stained my eyes.

Among billions of people, I have not lived much. I ask what love is, but reality has its own narrator, unlike the movies. My life is a tragedy, and my meeting with her felt as if it were fate.

The church bells rang for her. He took her hand and knelt on one knee, holding out a dazzling ring. His eyes fixed on hers, he asked, “Will you marry me?” She said, “Yes.” And I stood below, applauding as I watched. I swallowed hard and fought back my tears. Even if my heart stopped, I would crawl out of the church and let the white doves spread their wings.

In memory of the miserable events of 2021, and of me... us...