Stars II: Setting Out for Krumah

I read Mumu's book this morning; her writing has improved a lot. She could be more concise, avoiding going into every little detail.

Since Mumu's comeback, there have indeed been changes. The change I see lies in the significant improvement and transformation in Mumu's writing style. I hesitate to comment too much on fantasy works because I rarely read them carefully, but I am willing to appreciate the wonderful descriptions within. This shows that readers have different perspectives. The story framework of this work is actually not complex; I have carefully read your work introduction. If you want this work to reach a certain level and attract readers, you need to work harder on your writing techniques, adding more highlights to the detailed descriptions. Just like a person, even if they are not tall, if they have enough muscle, they are still attractive. The famous writer Ba Jin, in his "Ba Jin's Random Thoughts," hardly has a dramatic plot, yet it is captivating because every word is "gilded," imbued with the author's profound thoughts. A girl may not be very beautiful, but if she is dressed in designer brands, appropriately and harmoniously, she will still be eye-catching and attract attention. In short, one should possess at least one or two virtues. If a work is full of highlights and memorable quotes, readers will doubt that they are reading a novel or have mistakenly opened a dictionary of idioms; a table full of fresh seafood and meat dishes, but in the end, all you can see at the bottom is a small plate of cold dishes. Creation requires passion. An author's character is often revealed through their writing. I'm certain that Mu Mu is a gentle and cultured person, yet her work also contains many highly professional descriptions, proving her broad knowledge, inner refinement, and profound understanding. However, sometimes I hope you can unleash your fury, your madness, your passion, writing with intense emotion and inner conflict. When your emotions surge, your work will rise and fall; when your heart is at peace, your writing will be perfectly regular script. I've digressed. You are my good brother and fellow reader. Your experience of revising and starting over is truly admirable. I hope you persevere and reach new heights. I will always cheer you on! — Actress of *Heaven and Earth's Unending Love*

Overall it's pretty good, but the transitions are a bit too fast (pacing), and some expositional dialogue could be omitted or replaced with psychological descriptions. Some overly simplistic and melodramatic lines should be avoided with minor characters, as they have limited screen time and are often just cannon fodder; there's no need to develop or flesh out their characters. Of course, as always, these are just personal opinions, and I won't go into detail about the strengths.

Mumu, my good brother, happy holidays! The artist misses you dearly...

Don't introduce any pre-existing settings at the beginning; the first two hundred words can be omitted as they are not very useful. "Today's protagonist will surpass this legend." What was your intention in writing that sentence? If you wrote it to highlight how awesome the protagonist is, please do it in a different way. Don't write it like that. You've already told the protagonist that he's going to surpass the legend, so what's the point of the readers reading on? Then it just turns into two guys inexplicably fighting over a woman, and the fight lasts for an entire chapter. I have absolutely no idea what the main plot is, who the protagonist is, or what the novel is trying to say. It's all so confusing. Also, DaDa's narrative style has problems, but I can't quite put my finger on what the specific problems are. It just feels like the way he tells the story is a bit immature and looks strange. I suggest you read more books, get straight to the point, and let the readers know what story you want to tell as soon as possible. Don't include useless fight scenes; fight scenes without vivid imagery are just nonsense. Finally, we're all grown men, so please, author, speak kindly. I'm getting goosebumps!

Mumu, please update soon! It's been sixteen days!

Sending you lots of love, Mumu, please update soon! 😠😠😠

Mumu, please update soon! It's been nine days! I'm here to urge you to update!

I'll cast five votes to show my support and please update soon!

Oh, it's been several days since your last update. I just wanted to wish you a happy new week! 😒😒😒