A General Store in the Three Realms

Unlucky Zhang Xiaolong had just been dumped by his girlfriend when, drunk, he accidentally got hit by a car. He heard two voices muttering something, but when he woke up, there was a black lump on him.

What? This thing can connect to the Three Realms? Great Sage, lend me your staff to play with! Seven Fairies, could you send me a photo in black stockings?

He treats flat peaches like ordinary fruit and spirit pills like malted milk balls, and from then on rises to the pinnacle of life!