My Dear Roommate

Okay, I just turned 18 recently, happy May Day to you!

The hand of my main character is modeled after the top-tier heavy infantry of the Komnenos dynasty in the Eastern Roman Empire, as drawn by Osprey Studio. The main problem with the hand in the original and my drawing is the shading. The other artist's drawing has shading, but I was too lazy to add it, so it looks different. His drawing also has some issues. Eastern Roman lamellar armor did indeed have this design: the left and right plates don't overlap, but the top plates overlap the center lines of the two plates below, and the topmost plate overlaps the left and right plates. This does indeed prevent swords from piercing through the gaps to some extent. However, the helmet looks a bit off. Judging from the design, it's a Phrygian infantry helmet, but why is his Phrygian helmet drawn so ugly...? In the progress trailer released for the Mount & Blade II: Bannerlord mod "In the Name of Jerusalem 2", the Phrygian helmet looks much better.

I'm exhausted! I've finally finished drawing the main character for my book.

After reading the first few chapters, I noticed a common problem with the author: each chapter is too short, leaving readers wondering what each chapter is about, which is counterproductive. The first three chapters of a novel are especially important. If they're poorly written, readers are likely to abandon the book. Authors should prepare an outline before releasing each chapter. If they can't even handle this small thing, they might as well give up and go to sleep. ╮( •́ω•̀ )╭ Furthermore, I suggest that each chapter should be between 3,000 and 3,500 words. This would make the content more engaging. Therefore, authors should reflect on where they are writing and what content they are writing. This is my most honest opinion. Since you asked me to write a book review, I'll be quite frank. I read your comment section, and it's undoubtedly mostly low-quality comments, with only a few exceptions. I think those who praise the author's work are wrong. Let me be frank. Unlike others who make random comments and ramble after reading only a few chapters, there are a few things authors should pay attention to, so you don't get misled. (The author's writing style is not particularly good, it can be considered below average. Moreover, the author is not good at character description and environmental description.) These are the most basic knowledge of writing. Since the author has chosen to write, whether professional or amateur, they must do it well.

The author is fantastic! They wrote a youth campus novel. I'm so sorry to be reading your book so late. This book is already over 10,000 words long. I wonder if the author is going to sign a contract or just writing it casually? If it's going to be signed, then the first small hurdle will be too big to pass! Let's be more formal. This novel needs to use something like "Chapter One," and there's also the common author's mistake of using the "Golden Three Chapters"—it's problematic! The youth campus story is great, the author's writing is excellent, and the synopsis is also quite good. However, the first three chapters are too short. I suggest revising and highlighting them, because readers and editors decide whether to continue reading based on the first three chapters. In fact, editors may only read three chapters to decide whether to sign a contract. As for the rest, I feel the author is still very talented. There are no problems with the writing style. If the punctuation could be improved, it would be better to have one sentence per paragraph, with a period for each paragraph. The cover will be free if you sign a contract!! Finally, Yan Yan wishes everyone the best of luck and that you will overcome all obstacles...

Here it is! Is this a documentary piece written by the author? It feels very lifelike and authentic. If not, it shows the author is someone who pays close attention to daily life. Secondly, the first-person perspective makes it very relatable, but… it must have been a great challenge for the author. I have a few suggestions: each chapter is a bit too short; I suggest adding more content. Also, I think removing some descriptive passages would improve the story. Furthermore, I noticed that when it comes to dialogue, there's a lack of environmental and psychological descriptions. I hope these suggestions are helpful. These are just my personal opinions. Finally, thank you so much for the vote! *Bows*

I only read three chapters due to time constraints. I can't help but admire the author's courage in writing in a first-person narrative style. Thumbs up! The author's descriptions are also very detailed—I'm referring to the dialogue, by the way… …50 words of praise omitted here… Okay, now I'd like to offer some personal suggestions. Please don't be offended if you disagree! Dear author, I personally feel there's no need to write out the character's personality. If you do, the readers will already know, and it won't be very interesting. Please don't waste those three precious chapters. Wouldn't it be better to use the content of this first chapter as an outline? As for the response, you can write in the chapter discussion: No one is static; they change with time and as you get to know them… Just like the things you used to love to eat and play with, you might not love them anymore... Please make sure the entire article is written in paragraphs, one sentence per paragraph. Additionally, if it's a first-person narrative, I suggest that you choose one of two versions, based on the protagonist's personality, and extract the essence of each. One is the method of recall. It was another sunny morning. Ye Pinglu sat on a bench at the bus stop, watching the passersby. Ye Pinglu took his phone out of his pocket, dialed a number, and the call was answered shortly after. He then put the phone to his ear. "How much longer until you arrive?" A magnetic, pleasant voice, tinged with apology, came from the other end of the phone. "Sorry (the male lead's nickname), there was a bit of traffic. I've kept you waiting. We'll be there in about five minutes." "Okay, no rush, take your time." "Uh-huh." After hanging up the phone, Ye Pinglu continued to look at the bustling street. Suddenly, two lively and cheerful children appeared in his field of vision. Watching their interaction, Ye Pinglu couldn't help but recall his own ignorant and naive childhood. At that time, I was still in kindergarten. Ye Pinglu has memories Then write in the first person... Another version My name is Ye Pinglu. Just like my name, I am an ordinary boy, but there are extraordinary things in an ordinary life. Especially in our innocent and ignorant childhood, we were indifferent to the spring breeze, the summer cicadas, the autumn wind, and the winter snow. We were oblivious to our wealth and status, and dared to face injustice. That was our childhood. I was still in kindergarten then. That's roughly the idea. This is something I made up on the spot. If there are any flaws, please feel free to correct them. Thank you. How do you think it's written like this on the first page of Chapter 1? Suddenly I felt someone nudge my shoulder. I turned around and saw a chubby-faced man wearing a light blue short-sleeved shirt and shorts, pointing excitedly at the brick-red building. It was his friend He Zhou. He Zhou: "Look…" When writing, it's best to describe the characters' appearance, clothing, actions, and expressions. Of course, it's the main characters. If they only appear once, there's not much need to waste words on them, unless they are of great significance...

I have carefully read the first three chapters. The writing is good, and it can be said that it fully meets the reading interests of most readers. To be honest, the character descriptions are very good, and they are portrayed in great detail. The characters' personalities are also very distinct, leaving a deep impression on the reader. However, I personally believe that sometimes it is necessary to insert some environmental descriptions in order to create a good atmosphere, and the role of environmental descriptions is huge. In terms of writing style, although it is much better than the average person, it still lacks refinement. It is recommended that you read more books with good writing style to improve yourself and refine the vocabulary of your articles. Although I hadn't read his articles before, I had heard about them several times, so I have to say his works are quite popular. A masterpiece is bound to be a hit!

I personally like the character He Zhou, he's a little lecher (just kidding). If you're telling the story in the first person, I hope you can add more detail to his inner thoughts and describe his appearance in a bit more detail. Of course, the above is just my personal opinion, so don't let me influence your thinking. Good luck!

Actually, I had this idea a long time ago, but it was just a sudden flash of inspiration. I originally planned to make it a short story, but the format was difficult to define and it was not conducive to the reading experience. In addition, I recently finished the high school entrance exam and I am not quite clear about what high school really means. I was afraid that my writing skills were not good enough to express the feeling, so I put it aside for more than half a year before I thought of it again and started to draft it. Regarding the characters, Ji Chengjiang is actually based on himself. Because this character has a complex and somewhat problematic psychology, it's easier to write him based on myself, and it also gives the feeling of me entering the book, though it's not entirely a projection. Ye Pinglu is more easygoing, but also a bit aloof; you can guess his past. There's a hidden detail in the name. I'll explain the relationship with the surname later. The given name is taken from a poem I particularly like, Tao Qian's "Stopping Clouds". Regarding orientation: It's BL (Boys' Love), but...