Working a Nine-to-Five in Journey to the West, Starting with Sign-Ins at Lion Camel Ridge?
The Great King sent me to patrol the mountain, so I took a little tour of the human world.
"Great King, something terrible has happened! Sun Wukong has stormed the mountain..."
The Golden-Winged Great Peng Bird roared in fury. "That monkey dares! Quickly, bring me the Yin-Yang Vase!"
"Great King, there's no need. Little Scout just gave Sun Wukong a thrashing!"
The Golden-Winged Great Peng Bird stared in disbelief. "What?"
"Great King, something terrible has happened! Sun Wukong has brought reinforcements..."
"Great King, it was a false alarm. Little Scout just beat up Li Jing, the Pagoda-Bearing Heavenly King, Third Prince Nezha, the Twenty-Eight Mansions, Erlang Shen Yang Jian, and the Four Directional Emperors!"
The Three Demons of Lion Camel Ridge trembled. "From now on, Little Scout is our big brother!"
The Jade Emperor: "I'll split the Three Realms with you. Ow, you can have the throne!"
The Tathagata: "Lay down your butcher's knife and become a Buddha on the spot. Ow, fine, you can be the Buddha!"
The Three Pure Ones: "All beings beneath the sages are ants. Ow, quickly, summon our master Hongjun!"
Hongjun: "...Ow!"
