Pay 99 Yuan: I’ll Craft You a Mysterious Funeral

Whether you want to leave behind a legendary story or create a mysterious, extraordinary past that makes people wonder whether you were some great figure in life, just come to Su Chen’s Funeral Services. [For just 99 yuan, I’ll personally attend your funeral in a black suit, holding a black umbrella, and stand quietly watching the service.] [Pay 10,000 yuan, and a hundred people in black will appear at your funeral. A Maybach will arrive at the scene, and an old man in a Zhongshan suit, his face weathered by time, will bow deeply to your gravestone, lay down a bouquet, and leave with solemn dignity!] [Pay 100,000 yuan, and three thousand people in black will attend your funeral with umbrellas. Rain will pour all day, armed helicopters will circle overhead, and three old men in black Zhongshan suits, along with two tearful women, will pay their respects at your gravestone!] [Pay 10 billion yuan, and your funeral will be broadcast live across the heavens. The world will tremble, nine dragons will haul your coffin, and all creation will fade into darkness! Every person in power in the world will come to your grave and kneel before you! The heavens and earth will reveal celestial wonders, dark clouds will sweep across ten thousand miles, the stars will become your gravestone, and the sun and moon will see you off...] Any problem that money can solve is a problem we can take care of! Place your order now, and you’ll immediately gain a mysterious past.