Why Is It the Bluehole of Doom Again?

He lucked into a Roast System, and became a man cursed by PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds.

He always lands in the red zone, washes his hair under bombardments, finds nothing but crossbows, and gets vehicles with barely a drop of fuel.

Bombs sweep in like the wind, and I'm always caught in their path.

The road stretches on, with only the blue zone for company.

What? You land with a 98K and score a headshot with every shot?

What? You land in the center of the safe zone and shoot at an airdrop?

Fine, I'll admit I'm a coward!

What, you say things are so miserable and I'm such a coward, yet I can't help roasting them? That's the point!

"Ding! Roast Points +1. System activated!"