Damn It! Who Says This Crown Prince Isn't on the Eunuchs' Side?

"There are three things I never touch: first, the dragon throne; second, political power struggles; and third, beautiful women, unless they can make flintlock rifles!"

Shen Zhuo transmigrates to the Great Wei Dynasty. While others fight for the throne, all he wants is to run a wholesale business: wholesale knives, spears, swords, halberds, axes, hooks, and forks! While his younger brothers fight to the death at court, the Crown Prince is happily playing a real-life version of Minecraft on the northern frontier.

Crown Prince: I have three thousand retainers!

Shen Zhuo: I have thirty thousand crossbows. Want to see how far they shoot?

Emperor Yuan: Eldest, lend your father some troops...

Shen Zhuo: My own father gets twenty percent off. Shall we sign an arms rental contract first?

That day, the Black Banner Army's iron hooves shattered the imperial court. The treacherous rebel sat in his carriage, cracking melon seeds: I told you all I just wanted to be a lazy salted fish. You forced me to become an armory!

That day, invaders crossed the frontier. The mad prince, though a thousand stood against him, charged forward: "Today, I, Shen Zhuo, will defend the nation's gates alone!"

That day, the realm was at peace and the dynasty endured. The great ruler of an age smiled as he watched the seasons pass: "Nothing to do today. Let's go to the entertainment quarter and listen to some music!"