I Am an Ant

Many people say that brotherhood is for life. I understand, and I'm certain of it. We're brothers from the same mother. I'm the older brother, and I have a younger brother who's two years younger than me. My dad didn't have much schooling, but he once taught me a saying that's deeply ingrained in my mind: "What's the point of making friends if brothers aren't on good terms?" How can you make true friends if you can't even confide in your own brothers? That's how I understand it. I dropped out of junior high school. I continued my studies, finished university, and just graduated this year. Deep down, I've always felt indebted to my younger brother. As the older brother, having gone through a few more years of schooling, it's only right that I treat him well, help him, and take care of him. Now, I'm back working in the city where he lived. Three-tenths of it is due to my parents' expectations, two-tenths is my own resentment because they didn't want me to stay in the city where I graduated. But five-tenths is indeed because of him, my younger brother. He has a poor work attitude and is frequently late for work. He has a theory: "Arriving early doesn't get me a bonus, and being late just results in a deduction in pay, so why should I arrive early to work for a cheaper company?" I want to lead by example and influence him through my behavior. Every day I get up early and arrive at the company a few minutes early. It's been almost five months now. But there's one thing I still can't understand: what did I do wrong? He never tells me anything, and he never asks about my affairs. Last time, after an accident, the first person he told me about was a neighbor, an older woman. How ridiculous and pathetic I felt then. My younger brother has a terrible temper when he wakes up. Not long ago, a neighbor told me that when he wakes my brother up, everything is fine. But when I try to wake him up, we end up arguing. Haha, how helpless and heartbreaking! What my neighbor didn't know was how much of a wound his seemingly boastful, nonchalant words had inflicted on my heart. My brother goes to our neighbor's house for tea every day after get off work and dinner. I get off work later than him, and by the time I get home, eat, shower, and go to bed, he's still not home. I can't figure out if I'm his biological brother or if the neighbor's son is his biological brother. Every morning, he's asleep when I go to work, and he's still not home when I go to sleep. We live under the same roof every day, but we rarely see each other, and we probably don't exchange more than ten sentences a day. I often reflect deeply on myself, trying to figure out where I went wrong. But I can't understand why. Why are my brother and I in this situation? Today, I had a fight with my brother over a very small reason. I thought his salary was enough for his own expenses, and he could bring several thousand yuan home for the Chinese New Year. But when we talked about it today, I found out he still owes money to others. His salary, which he received on the 15th, is now down to only a few hundred yuan. I was stunned; I had no idea he still owed money. He even complained that I had told my mom he would have some money to send home for the New Year. A surge of anger welled up inside me. My tone hardened, and I questioned him, "Who's wrong here? Did you even tell me what was going on? Did you even ask me about my problems?" He acted all reasonable, saying, "I'm not saying anything more, or we'll just end up arguing again." Then he slammed the door and left. I was furious. The anger still burns within me. I keep thinking, what did I do wrong? Why is he treating me like this? But I just can't understand it. On the surface, I live with him, but in reality, we often don't see each other for a whole day. Brother! Haha, only now do I realize that after studying for more than ten years, I can't even write these two characters well.

A superb book, brilliantly written; a captivating story, a must-read.