A Carefree Life

Don’t fall for me, bro. I’m only a legend. I knock on widows’ doors, dig up the graves of families without heirs, get into fights, challenge martial arts schools, and play cards. I’m Suzhou’s number-one libertine, the kind of guy who makes rivers flow backward, makes oil spring from stone, and makes monkeys do backflips! I pluck elegant melodies on the zither, write shocking verse, recite poetry, paint, and play the refined scholar. I’m the world’s most dashing marquis: people flee at the sight of me, Buddhas tremble when they see me, and beautiful women turn into statues! I’ve strolled through fields of flowers with carefree grace, and risked my life with a knife at my throat. I taught Tang Bohu how to charm Qiu Xiang, made Zhu Zhishan run naked and leap into the freezing river, had Wen Zhengming as my little brother, and sent Xu Zhenqing into battle carrying my sword. Before I knew it, I’d become the ringleader of Jiangnan’s hundred thousand talented scholars! I know the arts of divination and the Five Elements, understand feng shui, yin-yang geomancy, and how to tell jade from porcelain and antiques. Military officials dismount when they see me, and civil officials step down from their sedan chairs. The emperor bows when he sees me, and beauties scream. My mind holds a wealth of talent and a kingdom’s worth of ambition, as well as boundless tenderness and timeless masterpieces! Come see how a mediocre modern art student transmigrates to the bustling, romantic Jiangnan of the Hongzhi era in the Ming dynasty. Born into a family of feng shui masters, he paints the world with his brush and lives life as a libertine. (The author has completed the 8-million-word novel “Long Live the Director.” Feel free to check it out.)