Ming Dynasty Courier: Three Hundred and Sixty-Five Chongzhen

My name is Wuli. On the surface, I am the lowest-level contract worker in the Ming Dynasty. In fact, I am the only courier who determines the direction of history. My daily routine is like this: The leader of the Donglin Party (speaking with sincerity): "In the fog, this letter concerns all the people in the world. It must be handed over to Mr. Sun Ge personally!" I (nodding and bowing): "Understood! Well... Sir, can I advance half of the travel expenses? My horse hasn't had enough to eat for several days." The Nine Thousand Year Old Survivor (Yinyan): "Give this to the Great Khan of Houjin. When it is done, you will get ten thousand taels of gold!" Me (inner OS): "Brother, your house has been ransacked and why are you trying to make a fool of me? Can you do something practical, such as helping me with the inn?" Emperor Chongzhen (secret edict in the middle of the night): "In the fog, my country, my country, my country, all depend on you alone!" I (I was so moved that I burst into tears): "Your Majesty! I just want to ask, if our postmen work overtime all year round, does it count as a work-related injury? Can we get a salary increase?" I just wanted to get off work on time and have a hot meal, but accidentally: In order to take a shortcut, I avoided an assassination attempt on me. In order to have a meal, the deal between the eunuchs and Houjin was accidentally broken. In order to get some fodder for Ma, I exchanged a letter of credence for collaboration with the enemy. The civil and military officials of the entire dynasty said: "Mr. Wuli is unfathomable, and his oars and oars are turned into ashes while talking and laughing!" I'm numb, I'm really just a courier delivery guy! Please, don't give me another promotion. If I get another promotion, I'll be the emperor! I just want to get off work!