Guan Family Half-Immortal

In 1994, in Yuncheng, Shanxi, people were choked with coal ash and could not keep their eyes open. I am Guan Shi, the 68th generation grandson of Mr. Guan, known as the "Half Immortal of the Guan Family". Of course, I sealed the term "half-immortal" myself, mainly because I am not accurate in fortune-telling. I rely on running away to drive away ghosts, and I rely on blindness to read Feng Shui. My daily job is to squat in front of the "Guan Ji Shou Wood Shop", eating steamed buns, and tricking a few nouveau riche into buying more expensive coffins. Until that day, the coal kiln in Jiezhou Town collapsed, and news came from the underground: Guan Gong appeared as a saint, with a red face and a knife. The people from the "Protection Office" took me out of bed and forced me to "identify myself" underground. After I went down the well, I realized that this was not an apparition of my ancestors, it was clearly meant to kill me! The red-faced ghost invited me to drink sulfuric acid, the ghost of Zhou Cang chased me to collect debts, and the coals on the ground were arranged in the shape of the word "righteousness" to crush me to death. I was holding the rusty Qinglong Yanyue knife, trembling and cursing at the same time: "Second uncle! Can you be more serious about your spiritual appearance? I am almost turned into a meat by you!" From then on, I, a "half-immortal" who just wanted to lie down, was forced to make jokes while cleaning up the mess left by my ancestors in this age of Qigong craze. Remember, don't call me Master Guan, just call me Guan Cangzi. I'm more used to it.