The Chronicle of Light and Ashes

I saw the category was "Epic Fantasy", so I clicked in to take a look. Obviously, it is the beginning of a traditional novel, which is a bit interesting and is my favorite type, but... It is a pity that the first paragraph at the beginning is not very attractive. Come take a look at the opening remarks of the Big Three of Fantasy. A Song of Ice and Fire Volume 1 Prologue: "Now that the wildlings are dead," seeing the surrounding woods gradually dimming, Gary couldn't help but urge, "let's turn back." "Do the dead scare you?" Sir Waymar Royce asked with a slight smile. Gary didn't fall for the trick. He was over fifty and could be considered an old man. He had seen too many aristocratic children come and go in his life. "Dead is dead," he said, "Why should we pursue the dead." Wheel of Time Side Story New Year Chapter 1: On a cold night, the wind blew through the ice-covered land. In the past three days, people have been fighting and fighting on this land. The air was very cold, and the coldness of Lan's breastplate was enough to seep through his coat. When there is no wind blowing, the water vapor he exhales will turn into mist in front of him. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy Section 1: When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would hold a grand banquet for his one hundred and eleventh birthday soon, the residents of Hobbiton were talking excitedly. Bilbo is not only very rich, but also a maverick. For sixty years, since his mysterious disappearance and miraculous return, he has been the talk of the streets in this part of the Shire. ……………… They are all about characters, not expository essays, nor charades, right? With just a few sentences, it has a sense of substitution and atmosphere. Even "The Wheel of Time", which is recognized as having an extremely slow plot, gave the life-and-death oppression of "a cold night in the war" at the beginning.

When writing a group portrait article, you must at least have a clear protagonist. The first chapter looked confusing to me The perspective is confusing, the writing is not smooth, the main line is not presented, and a lot of useless words are said It is recommended to change the name and introduction of the work. It is not a masterpiece, and it will not attract the audience.

I got this from your post. I don't usually read this kind of articles. I usually write or read fanfics. I think your writing is okay. There are just a few problems. The protagonist's name is too complicated and I can't remember it. There are also chapters with too many words. If there are too many, you can cut it off. I've read half of Chapter 1. You can make it shorter to make people want to follow it. It's better to leave a hook at the end. These suggestions I give you are the routines often used in fan fiction. I don't know if these routines will be used in this kind of writing.

Have you signed a contract? There are so many words.