Your Highness, the Princess Consort Has Been Driving the Villain Mad with Her Bogus Divinations for Ages

Heavens above! Earth below! Someone, please save this Imperial Preceptor's poor brain!

Chu Xuanyi, the esteemed Imperial Preceptor of Great Qi, is aloof and ascetic, and never makes a miscalculation. His greatest wish in life is to enjoy some peace and quiet and devote himself to the study of the mystic arts. Then, on a moment's impulse, he takes in a little girl named Ajiu who's missing a few screws. He thinks having another disciple will mean having some company. Little does he know he's invited home an ancestor who gives him headaches every day!

Ajiu has a mind as winding as the Yellow River's nine bends, and is as absentminded as someone sleepwalking through a fairyland. But! Her little mouth is practically a walking cheat code blessed by the heavens! She casually calls someone a “little green turtle,” and upright, incorruptible Censor Qian puts on a one-man performance of bizarre antics, nearly getting himself killed! She points at a “sparkly little rock,” and the Imperial Preceptor's treasured black jade qilin, kept for ten years, is instantly ruined... conveniently unearthing an astonishing treasure in the process! She says “the little bird is singing” in front of the Empress Dowager, and the comatose Crown Prince's eldest son miraculously wakes up!

Chu Xuanyi asks himself three questions every day: Did Ajiu make me faint with rage today? (Yes.) Did I clean up Ajiu's messes today? (Yes.) Is the roof of the Imperial Preceptor's residence still standing? (Barely.) Whenever his little fortune-teller comes out with shocking remarks like “Uncle Emperor, you've got a pimple on your head,” “Empress Dowager, your head isn't green anymore,” or “That person with the least hair and the biggest hat is going to have bad luck,” Chu Xuanyi clutches his chest and can only howl at the heavens: Your Highness, the Regent... no, Your Majesty the Emperor! Empress Dowager! Ancestors! Please, please take this little menace away! I just want to quietly be a handsome man!

“Master, Master! That bad guy has lots of black bugs on his head, and they're chewing on his big brain!” Chu Xuanyi's vision went black.