Xingwu Lingyun

After a few days of catching up, I briefly talked about my own opinions. The following text is purely my personal opinion. If you don't like it, please don't criticize it. Following the principle of promotion first and suppression later, let's start with the author's strengths. When I read quickly, I can read ten lines at a glance using the quantum reading method. When I slow down, I can understand the author's intention. Some parts of the author's novel, such as character creation, fighting, and environment, are suitable for slow reading. From the character description, action description, environment description, etc., It can be seen that the author has a certain degree of literary literacy. The words and sentences are all just right within the author's comfort zone. He is good at carving details and sees the world in a small area. This is one of them. Secondly, be persistent and not reckless. If you take the wrong route, the harder you work, the more you will fall back. From the control of the narrative rhythm, it can be seen that this is probably the first time the author has decided to write a novel, and he has not experienced systematic training, so he relies on his own exploration. This leads to The first 30 or so chapters are extremely discouraging. In the first 30 chapters, almost all the mistakes that a newcomer would make are made. The events are sudden, the scene changes are abrupt, the characters are facial makeup, awkward, inexplicable and so on. However, it gradually gets better after that, and I think it is the writing experience. The author feels that he wrote this book on the spur of the moment. The first thirty or so chapters probably don't have a detailed outline. He touches red paper, gets into fights, finds out that it's a game, and looks at the refugees. It's just seven chapters and then he can't wait to move on to the next event. And the next event has almost nothing to do with the first event. It's difficult to read it in one breath, without the feeling of flowing. But in general, as a newcomer, he is already very good. He persisted in writing 500,000 words, and it can be seen later that the author has grown in practice, which is commendable. There are so many positive parts, and the rest is suppressed. High EQ: great room for improvement. Low EQ: written rubbish. I will leave aside the shortcomings that I discovered during the viewing process that the author has realized and are revising. I would like to remind you again that the following are all personal opinions. Maybe what I think is poisonous is what you think is cool. A thousand readers will have a thousand Hamlets, so don't criticize if you don't like it. First of all, it is certain that the author has some talent, but most people with certain talents will suffer from literary youth, or be cynical, or lament the unfairness of the world. They will pretend to be profound and talk about some dark and cruel content, and bring out some well-known things solemnly and seriously, which will probably make readers feel embarrassed. Nowadays, it is not uncommon for those who like to educate consumers to fall over because of this. I hope the author will think about this passage next time he wants to explain the truth. Then there is the personal issue of description. "Tragedy is destroying beautiful things for people to see." When playing the roles of Kung Pao Chicken, Sun Hailei and other characters, you can feel that the author tried his best to make the picture sad, but there is one point that feels quite bland. (When I wrote this, I counted the number of times the names of these two characters appeared. Kung Pao Chicken appeared less than 200 times. It was really hard to count in the middle of the night. Before Sun Heilei's death, the name appeared a total of 15 times, mostly from God's perspective.) It's a bit embarrassing to expect readers to be sad because of the death of a character with no emotional sustenance. There is no beauty in itself, so how to tear apart the beauty. The knife man should be like pricking a balloon. The description of the character in the previous article is like blowing air into the balloon. Only when there is enough air in the balloon, the pricking moment will be enough to be gripping. If there is no writing, then you can only rely on images like mother and son, father and son, which are rooted in the Chinese blood, but this is also inferior. That's probably what it means, it's a bit confusing, I hope you'll forgive me. Then there is one of the author's strengths mentioned earlier. His ability to portray fight scenes and characters vividly is the author's strength. The author also likes to use these strengths. This is also where I think the problem lies – taking over the host's role. Novel, painting and other creations should be detailed and detailed. The art of leaving blanks should be clear. You should not skimp on the main body of the text, but you don't need to use some words that have little to do with the development of the plot. When reading, I feel that the author is suspected of showing off his skills, but it is often the simple words that move people. Just like a composition written by a migrant worker last year, "The grass on the grave is green and yellow, yellow and green again, just like my thoughts, it can never stop year after year." I have become a father and a grandfather, but I have not called my mother for more than 30 years. I thought that one day I could no longer carry the cement, so I would go back to the village and lie down next to the pile of soil. Maybe then, if I call my mother again, she would hear me. ' This is also a supplement to the sword man aspect above. Too much emphasis is placed on unimportant parts, but the core cannot be highlighted. This re-edit cannot be saved automatically. I have worked so hard to code so many words. The second is the emotional scene, which is too abrupt. The children of the tribe stumble along the way and taste the warmth and warmth of human beings. In the end, in three chapters, they have a heart-to-heart relationship with the protagonist. There are three chapters in total from the first appearance to the first offline. During this period, they also experienced a traditional pretending to be slapped in the face. It is quite inexplicable. It seems that the purpose of these characters is to fall in love with the protagonist to set off the protagonist's charm, and the shaping itself is also weak. This is also a common problem in many novels. The protagonist seems to have a halo of intelligence, and the surrounding enemies or friends will do inexplicable behaviors to make the protagonist show off. For example, when breaking through extreme levels, or fighting against Xuanyuan, they are just pretending for the sake of showing off.                                                              The control of emotions. I personally felt that the force was too strong when the Kung Pao Chicken was sacrificed and Sun Heilei fought for his life. This is related to the control of the rhythm of the plot. The Kung Pao Chicken usually does not behave well, and he will be serious when something happens, and then die. Xuanyuan Hong is yelling at the Kung Pao Chicken here. It is a very facial makeup and routine plot. In Daughter of the Tribe, the Hero Saves the Beauty, the descriptions of several villains at that time were too facial, and they tried their best to slander them. They wanted to portray these characters as ugly and arouse the readers' anger, but it was too awkward. In my humble opinion, the story of the hero rescuing the beauty. The three of them are playboys from a wealthy family. The description should tend to be dressed like beasts and repressed evil. It is written as if they have never seen a woman before, and they are like shrews. It's too vulgar, too hard, too facial. Let those three people go. This is a matter of benevolence and wisdom. When you scold, you are the Holy Mother, when you praise, you repay evil with kindness and have a kind background. Finally, I will talk about some non-methodological personal issues that I have seen in individual cases. Is there really any relationship between the first thirty chapters and the subsequent plot? The plot of Infinite Flow Demon Island can be opened separately, and the connection between the two is shallow. What is the purpose of the Kung Pao Chicken pretending to be a corpse and then not pretending to be a corpse? Is it just to hook up with the heroine? There is no one guarding such an important place on the Demon Island. The geniuses of the major forces are sent in like this without any precautions. Are they so big-hearted? Is the meaning of Sun Heilei's character just to make the monk regret for a moment and then reach a state of perfect enlightenment? The protagonist is a bit silly and sweet. The details are slightly unbalanced, the experience with Lin Yueyao, the experience with the general's daughter, the plot of the first seven chapters, just seven chapters, touching the red paper, explaining the world view, taking the mission, looking at the local customs, calling for a fight (very fake), fighting (can this be won, others can't see it?) Revealing the truth, explaining the background of the story, the situation, combat power, watching the refugees lament the truth, the protagonist's apprenticeship, etc., Seven chapters are over. It feels like there is no detailed outline, just write whatever comes to mind. The protagonist and others in Gucheng are at least pure-blooded Kyushu people. I personally think it would be better to add a little bit, for example, that they feel the malice of foreigners. In summary, you can read later. There are many flaws in the previous plot, but the latter plot has reached the level of food and grass, and the progress is significant. It is very valuable to be able to write and write down. The new author can persist in 440,000 words without signing a contract, which is already more than 90% of the authors. He also has enough cultural background, and his writing skills are not pale and feeble. With the experience of this book, the future can be expected.

My friend has always been happy with it. I calmed down and read it slowly, and I felt a lot. The most rare thing is that the author is willing to patiently portray the characters. It not only advances the main plot, but also takes into account the psychological changes of the characters. The characters are not tools to serve the plot. They all have their own positions and ideas, and they have a strong sense of substitution. In the early stage, the focus is on laying out the overall situation, and the character portrayal is relatively restrained. Each character gradually becomes more fleshed out, the conflicts fit the characters, the plot has just the right ups and downs, the story has rich layers, and the overall reading experience is gentle and comfortable.

It's quite interesting to see this book in the midst of a book shortage. There are a lot of flaws in the beginning, and the story turns a bit abrupt. I saw that it was a new author, so I read it with more patience. Sure enough, things gradually got better after Chapter 20. I felt much more comfortable after Chapter 20. The author's description of the details of the fight is still very good, but the emotional development is a bit out of touch. I can still handle the role of Yuan Kong. Fortunately, I didn't fail in writing. Otherwise, I would send you a knife, which is still acceptable. The author is still making changes and adjustments. I hope to continue to work hard and do better optimization and filling in the framework and branch ambush...

So far, the writing is not bad, the more the merrier, can you please not bring it with you?

After reading this novel, my first feeling was - can this collection of Deyunshe's jokes be used to write a novel? ? ? After looking at it, my second feeling was - have all the jokes in this novel been stolen by the actors of Deyun Club? Which one is earlier, the jokes in this novel or those in Deyun Society? This really needs to be carefully researched! But no matter what the result is, reading this, book lovers should know that to read this novel, you must prepare several large and small bags! Otherwise, it will be hard to find the big teeth if they fall off laughing! If you are reading this novel on the bridge board, then your teeth must be separated from the flesh and blood, and there will never be a chance to come together again! Hahaha, you understand, if you want to be in a good mood and relieve your sorrow and depression, read this novel! 😂😂😂

After reading the whole story, I can feel the author's progress. Although the beginning is a bit discouraging and the beginning is a bit dull, the climax at the end is really good. Some mythological things in the article really made me feel disconnected from the Japanese (maybe purely for personal reasons)

Most likely, he is a post-90s generation like me. He is passionate and patriotic and has some spare time. I think of my martial arts dream in the past and write it myself. Come on, brother.

It's very interesting. The protagonist Wang Xiao is a little immature at the beginning, but gradually improves as the story unfolds. The help of his friends and his own efforts made him more mature and confident. Especially after entering the magic island, it is especially obvious, which is a leap forward. The portrayal of each character is very vivid and vivid, the atmosphere is full, and the plot is exciting and ups and downs, especially the unity and sacrifice of everyone in the critical moment of life and death. The detailed description is very profound and makes people cry. Another little bit of sadness is the departure of Kung Pao Chicken, and I always look forward to his return. There is still a big mystery behind it, and I look forward to the truth being revealed later.

This book is a bit slow to read, and is not full of explosive points like the usual refreshing novels. However, the protagonist's Zen and philosophical thinking in practice are refreshing and profound, and it is worth reading slowly.

The character creation is so great, the interaction between the brothers is full of fireworks, and the Kung Pao Chicken episode made me lose my guard. I look forward to the follow-up and more updates from the author.

Wang Xiao is a bit ignorant at the beginning. He travels around the world with a pure heart and does not understand the twists and turns of the spiritual world. He relies entirely on instinct to deal with people. This "wild feeling" is particularly real. As the protagonist, he is not blindly stupid and strong, but a chivalrous person with intelligence and warmth in his heart. After that, Wang Xiao obviously grew up rapidly after being framed several times. The fights in the article were written in great detail. Every time Wang Xiao faced life and death difficulties, people were so nervous that their palms sweated. The villains are also very vividly portrayed. Lin Shisan in the latest chapters is elegant on the outside but selfish and vicious on the inside. It is a true portrayal of "a villain who succeeds", which makes people hate him. As a new author, it is already very good to be able to control the character creation and turning rhythm like this. Overall, it is a work with both passionate growth and emotional warmth. The sacrifice and unity in every crisis make people cry.

I finally saw the latest chapter today, starting with Wang Xiao's announcement of the red list as the first story, and then the death of Kung Pao Chicken. The little Phoenix who loved chicken died, which is really a pity. The story switches from map to map too quickly, and there is not much description of the entanglement between the villain and the protagonist. Every time, Wang Xiao is beaten to death, and then encounters strange beasts, preceded by various strange beasts in the Classic of Mountains and Seas, and finally a real dragon appears. Every time, the protagonist gets an opportunity to improve his skills, but it doesn't mean that every time he interacts with the villain, he is beaten to pieces. It is always like this that he is put to death and survives. I only need to write it once or twice. If I write it too much, I will get tired of watching it. There are several female characters in the article, but I can't tell which one is the heroine, but I feel that the character characteristics are not very outstanding. Only the female character Yan Zixi impressed me the most. Her personality and speaking style are somewhat similar to that of a perfect witch. Others either hoped that Wang Xiao would not die and must survive, or they would cry bitterly. Nothing outstanding. Having a duel with Lin Shisan's Five Elements Magical Power, this was the first time I met someone who practiced similar skills to the protagonist. The description of the fight was good, but in the end the bones were broken and the injuries were so serious. Later, the villain Xiaoshan Jianyang was added, and he won again. Isn't it too exaggerated? I hope I can write a follow-up story

After chasing for more than a week, I finally caught up with the latest chapter! Whether it is the description of battle scenes or the portrayal of emotions, the author can make people immersed in it. From the debut of the boy on Dongji Island, to the fateful encounter in the secret realm of the True Dragon, to the revelation of the foreshadowing in Qixing Mountain, the whole story is intertwined. The growth line of the protagonist Wang Xiao is very real. He is not Long Aotian who cheats all the way, nor is he a brainless man. He has his own thoughts and struggles, and every step is very steady. He is calm and rational, but also has the softest kindness. Facing the dying dragon, he is willing to put down his guard and fulfill its last wish. The story line of True Dragon is the highlight of the whole book. The author's writing of old age, loneliness, and longing for his hometown makes people feel heartbroken. I can remember this plot for a long time! The supporting characters also have their own characteristics. They are funny, forbearing, and mysterious, which make the whole story come alive. It made me crazy while guessing the sequel. More from the author soon!

Although it is a fantasy novel, these chapters are related to philosophy. The idea is quite wonderful. Practice is indeed a kind of dynamic self-transcendence.

In the chapters about being promoted to Dragon Gate, the Zen spirit of cultivation is quite artistic.

A friend recommended it to me, and I watched it for several days before finishing it. It's really a pity for Senior Brother Feng. The glorious senior brother was actually killed by the villain around him because of jealousy. Senior Brother Feng didn't blame him before he died, he just asked him to take good care of the sect. It's a pity that there are a lot of bad people in the sect, and they are not worth his efforts.

Well, what can I say? The writing is pretty good, but it's too bland. Maybe I've read too many cool articles, but I feel like there's a very smooth transition from one plot to another. There's no need to exaggerate, and there's nothing explosive. I just want to start the story of the chicken dying. There's no foreshadowing, so I just wrote it to death in two chapters. I didn't feel much about it, and then switched to the scene of the little sister and the devil's cult. It felt very abrupt. And there's the evidence of the chicken's life, so I just don't want it anymore? ? Can't read

After a few days in a row, I was evenly matched. When the Kung Pao Chicken died, I was really shocked. But at that time, I asked if I could come back. I should be able to come back. I can't just let it go so hastily, right? Fuso's style really kept hallucinating the real life when I was reading the novel. It made me angry. I can see that he really likes to use allusions. The rhythm is quite tight. New dungeons and conspiracies follow one after another. It would be nice if the main plot is clearer.

The most attractive part of this book is the unexpected reversal and the detailed description of the fighting. Every reversal can bring many unexpected surprises to people, sometimes they are suddenly enlightened, sometimes they are amazed. The rhythm of the story is relaxed and moderate, similar to the articles the teacher told us when we were in school. Some are written in a single stroke, and some are described in detail. The single stroke is not like "after a day", but gives people a very natural feeling, as if it should be passed in just a few sentences. What I like most about the detailed descriptions is the fighting scenes. It feels like their moves are right in front of you. The struggle in desperate situations and the growth in actual combat are all vividly displayed, which makes people nervous and exciting to watch. I can feel that this is a story with a very grand framework. The author's writing style is getting better and better. The story becomes more and more interesting. I look forward to the follow-up.

After reading this book, what I am most curious about now is what happened in the history of Jiuzhou 50 years ago. What happened at that time, and why no one knows about Qixing Mountain where Wang Xiao is located.

It was wonderful, and the most impressive thing was that it was actually a scene performed by senior brothers at the beginning. Kung Pao Chicken is responsible for many of the laughs in the book. Wuchen's sacrifice touched my heart the most. Such a gentle and sincere person sacrificed his life. The stamina is really great

As a growing author, I feel that the more I write, the better. Kung Pao Chicken makes me laugh all the time. I look forward to writing more interesting things in the future

The world view and characters are great! The setting of The Hidden Master is novel, each character has warmth, and it's good to delve deeper into the story line.

This book was released from December 31st to today, April 30th, a total of four months. Compared to the beginning, the author's writing skills and characters have grown significantly. At the beginning, the language was not refined enough, and it was a bit out of line with the online writing style, so the first dozen chapters were not very attractive. However, the author made a lot of progress after writing, and it got better all the way. The protagonist Wang Xiao was born in the birthplace of martial arts, but was left alone. From being ignorant and easy to fall into traps when he just came down from the mountain, he went to the Demon Island to take charge of the overall situation and take the lead. The Phoenix Palace Bao Chicken that went down the mountain with the protagonist is impressive. When he appeared on the stage, he showed the demeanor of a strong-mouthed king, but he was unreliable in all kinds of ways. When the protagonist faced a life and death crisis, he changed, and his firm "I won't allow it" was moving. During the protagonist's blood sacrifice, he resolutely sacrificed his life and (temporarily?) Tragically went offline. I hope that his Phoenix bloodline and the secret method of Qixing Mountain will allow him to return in glory. Of course, other characters are also created with flesh and blood, each with its own characteristics.       Xiao He, a Confucian scholar who has a strong sense of righteousness and has doubts about the classics;      Ling Cheng, a Taoist swordsman who is extremely relaxed, loyal and arrogant; Su Qinhe and Yanzixi, who both come from Fengyuxuan but are completely different; Lin Yueyao, a sincere and kind-hearted tribal child from southern Xinjiang; Failed to compare with the physical body, and the talk of Wang Xiao as his adoptive father will run away; Sun Hailei has been an alien since childhood, living in gossip; Li Xin, who is willing to sacrifice her life in order to survive;        Wuchen, who is destroyed in the battle on the magic island; Each of them has its own highlights, and in them the author mostly wants to write about the complexity of human nature, the difficulty of survival, and the injustice of society. However, the subject matter is limited, and this book cannot bear such a difficult task. With nearly half a million words written, the author has made great progress. I hope that in the next book, I can write a work that I want to express and that readers will love.

At first, I simply read it as a fantasy book. As I read it, I realized that the author has been echoing the real history. Perhaps because he wants to echo history, the protagonist Wang Xiao has been in frequent contact with the geniuses from all over Kyushu. The advantage is that the whole world is introduced, and the protagonist seems to have nothing to do and has been drifting with the crowd. It's not like he's trying to make himself stronger, instead becoming stronger is incidental to helping others along the way. There are many impressive supporting characters created in the novel, and some of them are quite attractive. The characterization of the villain is slightly lacking, and he speaks similar and inexplicable words during the battle. He does not look like a highly skilled monk, but more like a ruffian. In the end, my progress was quite obvious after writing all the way. The above content only represents my personal opinion. I wish you all the best of ideas, and the more you write, the better!

Happy May Day, finally tied. Let me tell you my feelings based on the development of the story. The previous battle scenes are well written, and the twists are also unexpected. I would like to suggest a little foreshadowing at the beginning of the story, such as the battle between Song Qing and Wang Xiaotong. The previous chapter I think Song Qing, who has been famous for a long time, would agree to such a nonsensical challenge and lose because of a piece of gossip. Although it was reversed immediately and the true relationship and purpose of the two people was explained. It was a drama and trick used for military supplies, but it was a bit inexplicable when watching it. In the middle section between Feng Rujing and Lin Shisan, "When the wind comes, will the rain be far away?" And "After the wind passes, the rain finally comes." I think the correspondence between before and after environment rendering is very good. After Wang Xiao's Dragon Gate Breaking Mirror, I feel that the changes have become more obvious, the description of the environment is more appropriate, the battle scenes are more refined, and more attractive. There is so much foreshadowing that I am very curious about the answer. Is Kung Pao Chicken really gone? I always felt like it was still there. Which heroine or heroines are there? She feels like the saint and Lin Yueyao. What really happened fifty years ago? Waiting for the follow-up...

The logic is clear and the plot is rigorous. Although the main plot is dull and stressful, it looks relatively relaxed and Kawako is still very funny.

It's really well written, come on, the author

Damn, this is really well written! What's going on?

The plot is quite exciting. I was very excited after watching it. I have already tied it. I hope it can be updated steadily.