Relax, I'm Not a Problem Player in a Tabletop RPG

“No spies around? Give us some wild history about Cthulhu hooking Hastur up with a gig selling hooks, then turning against him.” The purveyor of wild histories, five-star model citizen, chanter of the Grand Summoning, victim of firepower-deficiency anxiety, annual top high priest, Apostle of the Eternal City, Blade of Absolute Darkness, Traveler of the End, wandering spirit beyond time, savior, not a troublemaker, Bai Xi said: “It's been three seconds since I last heard a story about a white-stockinged octopus girl teasing a purehearted boy in yellow with candy.” After the biggest tabletop role-playing game, City of Sunset, went live, Bai Xi, a seasoned tabletop gamer, entered the game determined to become a top player. And so, he achieved his goal. “O Great One, from COC to DND, from the Holy Grail to the Infinite, your name is known to all and sung by all...” Bai Xi: “Then it must be because my results are outstanding, my plays are dazzling, and my performances are brilliant, right?” “None of those. It's because the way you play is just too deranged.” Bai Xi: “?” “Sure, I used a Glock 17 to intimidate a mute, traded summoning incantations with a rival Outer God right in front of cultists, brought just a tiny bit more firepower to the session, and always keep charm in my skill bar, but I think I'm a good person. Really.” “You have to believe me.” [Readable even if you're unfamiliar with tabletop role-playing games]